Adriana's Mom

Portrait of a Three Year Old

2009-02-20T00:36:00.001-05:00

Fishy February

2009-02-20T00:24:00.003-05:00

February 8th we took a drive to the pier in Dunkirk for something to do, since the sun was shining despite the blanket of snow on the ground, and Adriana got her first chance to fish. It's sad she wasn't able to do it with my father, since he loved fishing so much and loved it even more when he had the opportunity to teach a little girl (first my sister Maria, then me, my cousin Ann and finally Gabriela). In a way, though, it seemed like he was there - as if he had cast a line down from heaven and said to these burly but kind men on the docks, "Hey. This is my grandkid, and somebody's got to show her what fishing's all about. Help me out, would ya?" Three different guys showed Adriana their fish, poles and minnows, and one guy even let her reel two or three fish in. They were biting hard that day, since the water was warm (or so I was told). She absolutely loved it, as all kids do.

January 30

2009-02-20T00:00:00.003-05:00

Dressing up in Daddy's clothes, inspired by the cover of the book Father to Daughter, a gift Jodi gave to Mark at one of our showers.

Teenager.

Adriana loves watching movies now. Her favorites are Shrek, Shrek II, Shrek the Third and Shrek. But she's also watched Cinderella, Snow White, Ice Age, Ice Age II: The Meltdown and Ratatouille. We tried to take Disney's The Little Mermaid out from the library, but ended up with the Shirley Temple version instead, which Adriana watched three nights in a row with Grandma, after having watched it once at home.

“Happiness is the longing for repetition.”

-Milan Kundara, via ThinkExist.com

Static

2009-02-19T23:45:00.003-05:00

Yes, things around here have been a little static, but that's not what I'm referring to. I've lost a little interest in Adriana's blog, which by no means indicates that I've lost interest in Adriana, but rather have been focusing more on actually being together rather than worrying about documenting every second of our lives, for two reasons: one, she's older now, and her changes are not less significant (learning how to walk is a big deal, and very obvious) but more subtle (expressing yourself in a more complex way is also a big deal, but more abstract). Also, this blog is deeply tied emotionally for me to our time as a family, and since Mark and I are splitting, I want a sort of fresh start that I'm not sure continuing here allows. But I don't want the end to just fizzle out, I think there needs to be some sort of proper wrap-up, so let me catch you up on a few things, mostly via photo and video.

Now that's static! Adriana in Daddy's new place, enjoying the electromagnetism.

Here she is, that same night, Inauguration Day (January 21), talking about Obama's presidency:

Triptych

2009-01-17T13:58:00.001-05:00

Hannah Montana

2009-01-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

New York City

2009-01-17T13:47:00.004-05:00

Two weeks ago, the three of us went to New York for a long weekend. Our lovely friend Adira let us stay at her place while she and her husband Bram were in Holland. Here are some shots of us waiting for the train, which also happens to run right through Adira and Bram's back yard. (You may remember how much Adriana loved that facet of the house from the last time we stayed at Adira's place.) The shot on the bottom right is Adriana and I screaming with the dinosaur at Toys-R-Us in the background. We had a lot of fun there as always, walking through the Barbie castle and playing with the Thomas stuff.

Another thing Adriana loved the last time we were in Ridgewood was playing with the Amram-Muller bridal ukulele's. Here's a funny video with one starring Adriana that I call "Guitar Hero."

Mark's New Apartment

2009-01-17T13:23:00.004-05:00

I made a short slideshow of Mark's new place. Adriana has her own little room there. (It's still our family home until mid-February, anyway.) It's very cozy. You can check it out here:

And here are some pics from the night Adriana sang in the Rudolph/Frosty video:

EXISTENTIAL PARENTING CRISIS

2009-01-15T21:14:00.002-05:00

This is a little piece I submitted to Reader's Digest the other day. Who knows if they'll bite, so I thought I'd post it here just in case.

The morning started like any other, with the gurgling of the coffee maker and a humble breakfast of bread and cheese. My husband Mark and I were just hanging around the kitchen, gazing out the window at the grey January sky, when our three-year-old Adriana interrupted the silence.

Adriana: Nobody outside thinks I’m pretty!

Me: I’m sorry, what?

Adriana: Nobody outside is lookin’ at me!

Me: But we haven’t even left the house yet!

Adriana: But nobody doesn’t think I’m beautiful!

Okay, wow. I don’t even know how to address this statement. A double negative? Who is teaching this kid grammar?!

Me: Everyone thinks you’re beautiful. Why do you think Brian threw snowballs at you yesterday? Because he thinks you’re cute.

Adriana: But nobody even saw my nail polish!

Mark: Yes, Brian saw it yesterday…

Me: …and the lady at Starbucks commented on it right away!

Mark: That was a lady?

Me: No, a different lady. There was a woman there.

Mark: Oh.

Me: Anyway, everyone thinks you’re beautiful.

Adriana: But nobody thinks my old clothes are pretty.

Alright, now I’m really stumped. How could she be thinking these things? Has advertising somehow infiltrated her three-year-old consciousness? But this is why we don’t watch the Disney channel! She watches only limited amounts of PBS and wears practical but fashionable clothing bought on-sale at The Children’s Place. Where have I gone wrong?

Me: Adriana, life isn’t about being beautiful like that. It’s nice when you have your nails done and your hair looks good and you have new clothes on, but you’re beautiful because you’re a beautiful person. On the inside. So that’s that.

Adriana just smiled and bounced off, back into her bedroom. The gurgling of the coffee maker subsided in favor of the toddler babble I’ve become so accustomed to as my background soundtrack. A ray of sunlight crept in through the window, and peace was restored again.

Interwoven

2009-01-15T20:12:00.004-05:00

This is something Adriana said to her father yesterday, as dictated to me by Mark:

Jesus died just like Grandpa and rose from the dead, but my Grandpa didn't rose. Grandpa was a carpenter and had rosy cheeks in the winter, not in the summer when he was alive.

All that after only having gone to church three or four times in her life. Whew! Kids connect things in the most brilliant ways. There are so many parallels: Rose/rosy cheeks, Dad/Jesus were both carpenters, No rosy cheeks in the summer - Dad didn't live through the winter. Fascinating. It's interesting - I wonder how much Adriana actually remembers my Dad and how much of this is her hearing us discussing him (and his death). Either way, as long as she's not sad or morose about it, I think it's sweet that she has a lingering notion of Grandpa. After all, he was a guy who left a big impression on everyone he met.

Rudolph/Frosty

2009-01-13T00:19:00.002-05:00

This was taken last week. There's always some "holiday hangover" with Adriana, which I guess makes sense. She probably thinks, if we spend a week or maybe several weeks leading up to a holiday being excited about it, why not stay excited about it for a week or two afterwards? So here she is, singing Christmas songs well after New Year's. This is probably my favorite video so far:

I mean, look at that BELLY! Adriana was eating 6 times a day or something last week and the week before. She's my little hungry, hungry hippo! She's not at all fat, but it's just funny to see the baby that was once too skinny ("You must switch to formula!" said in French accent) with a little tummy on her. Too much beer New Year's Eve, I guess.

The Dresser Song

2009-01-11T22:12:00.003-05:00

Here's a slideshow I made to a recording of me singing "The Dresser Song." It's our bedtime ritual. Some people pray, but we sing goodnight to the people we love, which is really the same thing.

The Dresser Song from CarolynCastiglia on Vimeo.

Ring in the New Year!

2009-01-11T21:42:00.004-05:00

Adriana and I went to visit Jodi in Cleveland for New Year's, as it's only two hours away from Fredonia. Jodi had lovely Christmas gifts waiting for both of us: me, a beautiful pair of earrings bought at "The J," where Jodi spends most of her time teaching Pilates, and for Adriana, a princess doll by Melissa and Doug. So sweet!

Adriana and Jodi were like two peas in a pod right away, with Jodi teaching Adriana Pilates and giving her a bounce on her Yoga ball:

Shortly after we arrived, we headed out to Mint Cafe, a nearby Thai place. We had a fun walk in the snow - and the food was delicious!

Somebody suckered somebody into carrying somebody, but I won't name any names.

Adriana and Jodi looking wistfully in the window of Big Fun, a gigantic toy store across the street from the cafe that was closed the entire time we were there. Next time!

Big Fun knows what's up.

Yummy! Honestly, I think I had the best Thai food of my life in Cleveland Heights. Makes me hungry just thinking about it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Jodi kept pimping Adriana to say that to everyone we saw in the hopes we'd get free food/drinks. Adriana got a candy cane out of the deal, so I guess it worked.

Adriana loved the "noodles" (Pad Thai) and appetizers (Golden Bags - so suggestive).

Um... I plead the 5th.

Adriana went to bed around 10, and since Jodi doesn't have cable, she and I stayed up watching Burn After Reading. At 12:02 I said, "Oh, Happy New Year!" It was right that our celebration was low key. I can't think of a nicer way to ring in the new year than with an old friend.

The next morning, we went to Starbucks and enjoyed drinks while we all wrote out our resolutions. Adriana seems resolved to spend 2009 doing a lot of scribbling.

Jodi drove us around the city, which is much bigger and more beautiful than I ever imagined, then we met her friend Jared and his friend Michelle for brunch at a place called Grumpy's. Again, delish!

Adriana and Jared had fun playing Tic Tac Toe.

By the time we left, Jodi had covered Adriana in girly trinkets: glittery lips she could clip to her jacket, handkerchiefs, a purse. Adriana was overwhelmed by Jodi's kindness and said in the car, "That was so nice of her." Aww. Second-generation BFFs!

Leftovers

2009-01-10T16:10:00.006-05:00

It's taken me so long to get the pictures from Christmas and New Year's up! What can I say? I'm shuttling around all the time, I helped Mark move - I had to drive to Oswego yesterday to meet the divorce lawyer - I'm trying to write my show that I have to perform February 5th... there's a lot going on. But I still have my head above water, and most importantly, I'm really looking forward to the future. Just a few more months and there will be some normalcy. My friend Jen just said, "I don't know about you, but I think good things are coming in 2009." I replied, "Let me put it this way: the past two years have been so crappy, there's nowhere 2009 can go but up." Let's just say I'm poised to have a fabulous 2010. Ha.

Some pre-Holiday remnants:

Adriana and Grandma made cookies after Gab's recital!

Didn't Gab look so beautiful at her recital? Here's what she was secretly sporting underneath her fancy dress:

Kids! Can't live with 'em, can't get them to keep marker off their bodies. Even at 11 years old. (I keep telling you... the tattoos are coming! I think I'll just tattoo Adriana next year when I take her to get her ears pierced. That way, at least I get to pick her ink. I'm thinking Caillou with a music note... or maybe Elmo smoking a blunt.)

***

CHRISTMAS EVE AT GRANDMA'S!

No doubt Adriana looked absolutely stunning Christmas Eve. (And us two old broads don't look half-bad ourselves, if I may say so.) But boy-oh-boy did she sound awful... she cried through almost the entire mass until right after communion. Never doubt the holiness of a priest - that man blessed her and she fell right asleep!

Here are the cookies and milk we left out for Santa:

Lo and behold, they were gone the next morning!

I should also say, the threat of Santa skipping our house because she was not asleep was not enough to get Adriana to close her eyes Christmas Eve. What finally got her? Cookies for breakfast. Desperate women make desperate offers.

Adriana with her presents from Santa! She got a lot of great presents this year, from family members as well as the big man himself. Here she is in her prized Hannah Montana bathrobe with a "candy can."

We had a beautiful dinner Christmas Day with Maria, Howard and Gab. Our party was small, but change is in the air. I told Howard, he was literally "the man" for the day. What an honor!

The table, before we ate Grandma and Maria's delicious food.

We went to Watertown December 26th, and even tho I brought the camera, I didn't take a single picture! What a shame. It was so nice to see April and Judy - and my mom came, which was awesome, because the Neujean Mother-Daughter team got to brag all about The Edible Schoolyard. My mom was so proud to see pictures of April with her hero, Emeril "Bam!" Lagasse. Next time, we meet in NOLA, ladies! I promise!

That's it for now! New Year's coverage and new apartment to come!

Gab's Piano Recital

2009-01-04T17:28:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We trust yours was great, especially since we saw most of you at some point over the holiday (which, sadly, seems to be ending today). Nothing to look forward to from this point on besides Valentine's Day, so let's look back and revel one more time, huh? Especially since this year I'll be single on February 14. For those of you who don't know, and that can only be about one or two of you, Mark and I are getting divorced. I won't go into great detail here except to say, despite the fact that I never imagined this happening and always felt Mark was the love of my life, this is probably the best decision I've ever made for myself, and I think ultimately for Adriana, too.

That said, here are some pictures and video footage of Gab's first piano recital, taken on December 23. As you'll soon see if you watch the clip, Gab was very composed (music pun!) and adept at playing legato. I'm so proud. I think she already plays better than I ever did.

Conversation with Adriana

2008-12-22T19:53:00.003-05:00

Me: I'm too fat.

Adriana: Why?

Me: Well, it's okay to be fat, but sometimes being fat is just a pain.

Adriana: In the asshole?

Me: Yeah. It's a pain in the asshole.

Christmas Carols with The Vinkstiglias

2008-12-12T18:01:00.001-05:00

Random Cute Pic of the Day

2008-12-11T11:30:00.002-05:00

Here's Adriana looking adorable yesterday in a lovely sweater handmade by her Oma. All day long Mark and I kept admiring her - in her dark blue jeans she looked just like a baby Brooke Shields modeling Calvins back in the day. Ha!

Ceci's Strawberry Shortcake Birthday

2008-12-10T16:55:00.002-05:00

Our lovable little friend Ceci had her 3rd birthday this past weekend and Adriana was invited to share in all the Strawberry Shortcake goodness. Mark and I actually missed the party because my bus broke down in Rochester, but as they say in Oswego, that's a whole 'nuther story.

Happy Birthday, Ceci!

Christmas in Fredonia

2008-12-10T14:57:00.003-05:00

I spent a peaceful afternoon Monday putting up the Christmas decorations. Adriana and Ceci helped for a bit, and Mark dutifully lifted up the tree while I placed the makeshift skirt/cord cover underneath it. I think it looks great. Very cozy. This weekend we get to decorate a third tree at Grandma's house! Holidays ahoy!

Here are a few videos we made while trying to do our photo shoot. The first is of Adriana singing Jingle Bells. Note: she sings the second half of the lyrics as "Old Mac Farm it is to ride," influenced by Old MacDonald, of course. She usually belts that part with gusto, but somehow she must have known those aren't exactly the right words, because she's quite timid with them here:

The next is of Mark and Adriana singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town. It's adorable, but it's also what happens when you make a duo out of a foreigner and a 3 yr old. I'll have to record myself in Dutch to even the score.

That night we went for a walk to the village square to see the tree. It was freezing and Adriana wanted to be carried the whole way, but it was fun nonetheless. Until we got home and she had probably her biggest meltdown to date. She was tired, and when it was over so were we. But she's cute, so she's easy to forgive.

Trimming the Tree

2008-12-05T02:54:00.005-05:00

Before we left on Sunday, Aunt Kathy dug out her tree so we (read: Adriana) could decorate it. Kids love Christmas decorations, and as we all know, Adriana is an above-average kid. She was thoroughly excited to put all the ornaments up, saying as she touched each one, "Isn't it beautiful?" She was careful to temper her zest, understanding that these lovely little objects were shiny and therefore delicate. I think we did a great job, no? With the help of Grace the kitty, of course.

Click any of the Scrapblog pages to see them larger!

Thanksgiving Part Three

2008-12-05T01:28:00.004-05:00

Leaving PPG Place. Adriana held Ann's hand as much as possible that night.

As it got dark, Aunt Kathy decided we'd better just eat downtown rather than be starving by the time we got home. So we stopped in nearby Primanti Bros., and unfortunately I didn't eat anything because of the, um, how shall I say this delicately? Because of the gravy hangover I was experiencing down south. But the good news is, now I have a reason to go back! Primanti Bros. has a serious list of awesomely big, goopy sandwiches. (You may remember from my pregnancy how much I love a good sandwich.) They're cheap, and they all come topped with fries. Wow.

Primanti Bros. is located in a little square behind the PPG rink. It was so quaint, it reminded me of Leidseplein in Amsterdam. Pittsburgh has a very European feel, actually - and not just because at its center is that huge castle. The rivers and bridges reminded me so much of London.

On our way back to the other side of the river, we stopped at Macy's to look at the holiday display. I'm not sure if the windows in New York are any different or not - I'll have to check at some point before Christmas.

It was fun.

I let everyone ahead of me as we strolled back across the bridge so I could soak in the final views of the lights on the water. There's something about seeing a place in winter - the lights, the cold - they make it somehow more alive. Maybe it's because most of my trips to Europe have been in winter or because I grew up where it's cold, but I felt that great touristy feeling you get when you really breathe a place into your memories. That was a nice and unexpected birthday gift. As I told Mark, who'd never been to Pittsburgh proper before, the last time I walked around downtown was many years ago now, with my Dad. He always loved walking around sightseeing. And in a way, that yearning to experience places connects me deeply to him. If I'd never met my father, I might not be able to look at a structure and see its beauty. He was always pointing things out, like, "You see the way that roof slants? They used blah-blah-blah to construct it." (Come on, I was a kid - I couldn't listen to everything he said!) I always wanted my Dad to see Europe before he died, but at least I know now in a way he did. In Pittsburgh.

Thanksgiving Part Two

2008-12-04T13:43:00.004-05:00

Friday morning, Adriana got up early and made cookies with Aunt Kathy. She's a better cook than I am! But she's been baking since she was two, thanks to her daycare program. I'll never forget the first time I walked in and saw all the kids holding little pumpkin carving knives - I was having a heart attack while they were just chopping away, making applesauce... my mother wouldn't even let me CLEAN her stove, let alone cook on it!

That afternoon, the family went downtown to see the Christmas displays while I stayed home and worked on my solo show. (Brown Ambition premieres Thursday, February 5th at 8 pm - Ars Nova, NYC. That's one trick I picked up at Showtime - never write anything anywhere without including tune-in!)

This one definitely looks better large. So, as we say to Adriana when it's time to buckle into her carseat, "Click it or ticket!"

Then, guess what? Saturday, after my mom and Uncle Chuckie left, we turned around and did the same thing! Gary and Ann came along, too, so the only people who did the trip twice were Mark, Adriana and Aunt Kathy. No one seemed to mind.

I can't even discuss how cute this is.

Steel City.

PPG Place has to be one of the architectural marvels of the world. It's a giant castle made of glass. I mean, come on!

Awwww.

This gets BIG if you click it! One more installment to come...

Thanksgiving! Part One

2008-12-01T14:28:00.005-05:00

We were basically on vacation all last week - which was AMAZING - thanks to Mark's lovely academic schedule. That gave us a chance to go to Oswego for Gabriela's 11th birthday on the 25th. (11? What?! I remember the day you were born like it was... okay, the day before yesterday. I guess I am getting older.) Gab got lots of great gifts as usual, but perhaps the best one (wink) was the piercing Mark and I took her to get in the cartilage of her ear. Mark and I pierced Gab's lobes for her 4th birthday, so it only seemed fitting that we take her for the tween equivalent. I tried to get her to go with a diamond or a pink stone, but she went straight for the blue skater ball. I'm seeing a tattoo in someone's future... (for your 13th birthday if you're good!). Kidding, Maria. 16th. (15th maybe. She's mature.)

The 26th found us traveling to Pittsburgh to celebrate Thanksgiving at my Aunt Kathy's house, something we haven't done since I was in college (right around the time Gab was born). I have to say, I was dreading this holiday season because the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without a loved one can be so depressing. Even though I've had almost a year to recover from the initial loss of my father, if you knew him, you know sitting in that big house without his voice and personality filling it is like having a party in a cave. No matter how many decorations you put up, it still feels empty. Celebrating at my Aunt Kathy's not only gave us a new space to be in, but also allowed us to dine with relatives we don't usually see this time of year, and that was great. Adriana had a fantastic time playing with cousin Ann and being "teased" (her word) by Gary. As a little girl I learned from my Uncle Chuck, who you see carving the turkey (below), if uncles are around for one purpose, it's teasing their adorable little nieces.

Click to see it larger.

I played around a bit with the updated version of Picasa, adding some text to photos. Picasa has evolved so much, it's probably a better web tool than Flickr at this point, but 7,000+ items on Flickr later, it's too late for me to switch. If you're looking for an online photo tool, though, check it out. You can use their software to edit on your hard drive and then upload your spiffed-up pics directly to a web album - fancy.

Our hosts, Gary and Aunt Kathy. Adriana fell so in love with Gary, one night as she was drifting off to sleep she started giggling, "Gary calls me honey, now."

With my cousin Ann.

Sharing a laugh. (I'm sure I said something hilarious. Like, "Hey Mom, smile.")

Boys will be boys. And drunks will be drunks. Notice how they conveniently placed a helpless child between them so as to up the pathetic beggar quotient.

I didn't add those Z's. They actually came out of his face. Now that's a nap!

After dinner, we had birthday cake. Yes, my birthday was on Thanksgiving. Lame. I mean, no offense, but nothing says "eat it" quite like sharing your birthday with a turkey. It's just as well - I'm getting too old to have birthday parties anymore. But turning 21 on Thanksgiving was rough. My Dad told me he basted the turkey in beer and my Mom stuck a taper candle in the center hole of a bundt cake. Ah, rites of passage.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention that wii all played Wii for the first time! What a wiik. My mother took so long to set up her avatar before wii started playing, I think shii thought that was the game! Much to everyone's surprise, Grandma was the undefeated champ at bowling. Mark sat out at first, but eventually even hii couldn't resist the power of the Wii! Things turned vicious when people started punking each other by adding moles and facial hair to their opponents Mii's. And everyone was pleasantly sore the next day.

To be continued...

Remainders of the Day

2008-11-23T23:37:00.007-05:00

Here's my new favorite pic. We took it when we came home from the Harvest Dinner. I just love that little face... and that my three year old has already mastered the confident, yet friendly smirk that will someday surely win her friends and influence people.

We spent Saturday the 15th coloring with Ceci and watching the original Horton Hears a Who! (since we missed the remake at the Opera House, playing in the same time slot as the Harvest Dinner). Here's the masterpiece I painstakingly created with our new set of "grown-up" markers. I was staunch that the children had to use the markers they've already destroyed. All is fair in love and art.

If you don't understand why there are three black elves in this picture, don't worry. Just listen to David Sedaris' 6 to 8 Black Men. You'll figure it out - and probably pee your pants in the process. I honestly think it's the funniest humor essay ever written.

Adriana and Daddy crossing their fingers that Sint and Piet will come in the night! Here's a live action version:

After Adriana went to bed, not only did Sint deliver, but Mommy did, too. I used the stickers Cocki sent (along with that old-school favorite PUFFY PAINT!) to make a little craft box for Adriana. The next morning, she used them to make herself a visor.

The colors just happened to match perfectly. Clearly I have a gift.

Don't worry Mom, that's not a chin piercing. It's a smudge of chocolate - the breakfast of champions.

p.s. - These are the centerpieces the kids made for the Harvest Dinner. We got to take two home because well, we're just lucky.

I actually sort of love the one with the fake hydrangeas, not just because it's pretty in that Wal*Mart potpourri sort of way, but because it reminds me of the centerpieces we used at our wedding. (No digital photos of that affair. When we drove off to our honeymoon the "Just Married" sign was attached to a Model T! They hadn't even invented talkies yet! Way back in 2002...) But anyway, the point is, that centerpiece no longer exists because the cats ate it. The other one - the one boasting the glittery glob of glue - I'm sure it'll be here next Christmas. Ain't that just the way?

Harvest Dinner

2008-11-23T13:51:00.008-05:00

Last Friday, November 14, Adriana's daycare held their annual Harvest Dinner. Everyone brings a dish to pass, and the kids have a great time singing all the songs they've been working on. I took a few pictures and made some nice pages I'll print using Scrapblog. Click to see them larger!

It's incredible to have seen Adriana go through this same ritual two years in a row. Last November she was barely talking - now she won't stop singing "Grey Squirrel," especially as she falls asleep. Not only does she know all the words, she likes to use different character voices in her rapidly-growing repertoire to sing it. (I think "robot" is her favorite.) Here she is singing it in traditional bel canto, below:

And here's a clip of "Everyone Has Feelings" from the dinner itself:

There are days when I wish this song was pumped through the streets of New York. Because sometimes we all need a little push to keep each other's feelings in mind. Just preferably not the kind that comes as a stranger's elbow to the boob.

Sinterklaas Has Arrived!

2008-11-23T12:12:00.005-05:00

In Almere. Mark and Adriana look forward to watching the latest episode of Sinterklaasjournaal every evening. (Here's an article in English about the tradition for those of you who still have yet to experience the glory of Sint and Piet.) Adriana has put her shoes out twice already, leaving carrots and a drawing each time. On both occasions, she awoke to receieve (and eat) a piece of chocolate. Many thanks to Sint's helpers Zwarte Cocki and Zwarte Nicolette for sending us lots of goodies! Here are some pics:

A rhyming poem is tradition when you exchange "surprises" during Sinterklaas.

And a little Thank You from Adriana:

First Snowfall

2008-11-16T01:20:00.003-05:00

November 11th - First Snowfall. There was just enough white stuff for us to make a snowgirl!

After we secured her hat, we took a walk down in the creek.

An apple for the teacher, I guess.

Laura and Alex's Wedding

2008-11-15T23:17:00.004-05:00

Last weekend we had the pleasure of being a part of my dear friends Laura and Alex's wedding. They got married at Battery Gardens in Battery Park, NYC on Friday, November 7th. The setting was fabulous, the decor sublime and the bride like a diamond frosting drizzled on a cake of rubies. Mark, Adriana and I had a wonderful time along with several other important people in our lives, including Katina Corrao, Shawn Hollenbach, Jenny Rubin and Paul Case, all pictured below. Adriana made a new friend, too, a two-year old boy named John. Get a load of them dancing!

GETTING READY:

PRE-CEREMONY AND RECEPTION:

Click either to see the large size!

Random Cute Pic of the Day

2008-11-11T10:52:00.003-05:00

Evening, November 1st - after the Halloween Parade - after karaoke - we went for a walk around the block, only to discover someone had balloons floating all over their front yard in honor of the birth of a baby boy. That same week, a few blocks away, a house boasted a sign that read, "It's a Girl! ADRIANA." Small world.

The face of the new democracy:

2008-11-11T10:47:00.001-05:00

(Cross-post from my other blog.)

Last Monday, November 3rd, Adriana and I had the privilege of hanging door signs for Obama in Erie, PA. The neighborhood we were assigned was quiet and cute, the most ostentatious lawn displays being that of Steelers pride. (Did you know you could get a 4 ft. inflatable Steelers player for your front lawn? Why not?!) Adriana worked very hard, hanging the signs at almost every single house. Our route took us about four hours, and we were both a bit cranky by the time we were done, but after a pick-me-up piece of pizza back at volunteer headquarters (where I got that kickass IBEW poster), we decided we still had enough life in us to go see BILL CLINTON speak.

The middle row of pictures above are all from the Clinton event. On the left you see Adriana, thrilled to be waiting in line. In the center you see the crowds while the man himself was onstage. On the right you see a piece of the enormous American flag behind the podium extolling "Change We Need." That photo distills the entire campaign for me into one succinct image. As you may remember, I've been following Barack for a while, first proclaiming my love in January 2007. The highlight for me over the last two years was attending his rally in Washington Square Park, which I covered for HuffPo. But I must say, it was an honor to canvass for him, and to donate a meager $25 in the last hours of the campaign. I feel like I own a piece of his legacy now, something I'm proud to say my little daughter was also a part of.

CUE THE ANI DIFRANCO REFERENCE!

Here are the lyrics to paradigm:

i was born to two immigrants
who knew why they were here
they were happy to pay taxes
for the schools and roads
happy to be here
they took it seriously
the second job of citizenry
my mother went campaigning door to door
and holding to her hand was me

i was just a girl in a room full of women
licking stamps and laughing
i remember the feeling of community brewing
of democracy happening

but i suppose like anybody
i had to teach myself to see
all that stuff that got lost
on its way to church
all that stuff that got lost
on its way to school
all that stuff that got lost
on its way to the house of my family
all that stuff that was not lost on me

teach myself to see each of us
through the lens of forgiveness
like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!)
teach myself to smile and stop and talk
to a whole other color kid
teach myself to be new in an instant
like the truth is accessible at any time
teach myself it's never really one or the other
there's a paradox in every paradigm

i was just a girl in a room full of women
licking stamps and laughing
i remember the feeling of community brewing
of democracy happening

Pioneer Cemetery

2008-11-10T21:26:00.006-05:00

Sunday, November 2nd. The light was spectacular and the leaves were on fire. The space of the old cemetery yard felt still and very peaceful. Adriana used it as a place to run. Mark and I just enjoyed the history and the quiet.

Click to see it larger.

That night, Adriana and Ceci helped Mark and I rake the abundant leaves in the front yard.

They are ridonkulous. My ovaries may explode.

Halloween Parade

2008-11-10T20:17:00.005-05:00

November 1st, All Souls Day:

Click to view larger.

I don't know everyone in these pictures, but wanted to take a few shots that encompassed the whole experience. The jist of the parade is this: basically every kid in town dresses up and marches three blocks down the street to the town square. This is our second year doing it, and for some reason - lame tho it sounds - both times I thought it was pretty fun. The kids love it, and that's what makes any children's event enjoyable, really.

Some of the kids we do know in the collage include Ceci, who you must recognize by now. Plus top right, dressed in white, Adriana's classmate Ashleigh (I think that's how she spells it) and her father as King Kong. Second row, far left, Adriana's former classmate Tula and her father. Third row, far right, Adriana's former and current classmate Brycen dressed as Spider Man. (Isn't he just adorable?!) Some photographers for the local paper took some really great pictures of Mark and the kids throwing leaves. You can see them here and here if you're really dedicated. (You have to scroll through the entire set in each case, but there are several pictures of Mark and Adriana in both of them.) I was standing right there too, but apparently a bee who (I can only imagine) looked upset and/or pregnant* is not as interesting a subject as a playful vampire. That's what I get for switching costumes, I suppose!

*Totally not pregnant. It's just that the first one is still there. But thanks so much for asking, lady at the coat check this weekend.

That night, Ceci came over and we all sang karaoke! Sort of.

"Excitement in its purest form." - Mark
"Nutsy time at the ranch." - Carolyn

As you can see, we have different perspectives on life. But those kids sure are cute, aren't they? What'd you say? I can't hear you because of all the YELLING! I mean singing. Yeah.

Trick or Treat

2008-11-06T09:49:00.002-05:00

Here's a collage from the Halloween/Pumpkin Carving Parties Mark and Adriana attended on the 25th:

And here are our pictures from Halloween itself. (The Children's Parade through the center of town was Nov. 1st. I'll have to post those later.) Adriana had a blast both days, much to the credit of her BF Ceci. They're like two peas in a pod, as the old saying goes. (Hey - that would make a great costume... maybe next year!)

Click to see it bigger.

Angels

2008-11-06T00:00:00.004-05:00

Ome Klaas and family were angels to send Adriana a gift for her birthday...

What is it??? The suspense is killing me!

It's Barney! Yay! He can dress as a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater for Halloween!

***

Adriana also got in some pre-winter prep, inspired by the Caillou holiday video we borrowed from the library:

***

And this, though ridiculous, is also sublime. Look at my little (burlesque) angel!

Herfst...

2008-11-05T23:11:00.002-05:00

...means autumn in Dutch! (Mark just realized in this instant that "herfst" is basically "harvest." How 'bout that?! You learn somethin' new every day.)

This fall has been a very pretty one - and the leaves have been quite plentiful, too. Here are some shots of Adriana and Mark falling all over themselves as they rake the backyard:

And here are the Halloween cupcakes Mark and I proudly made for Brian and Leanna's Halloween party and MaryBeth and Chris' Pumpkin Carving Party.

Express Yourself

2008-11-05T22:49:00.002-05:00

Tonight, as I was laying next to Adriana's bed waiting for her to drift off, we had the following exchange:

Me: My foot's falling asleep.
Adriana: That's because it's tired from walking!

***

Some quotes of Adriana's I took down on the drawing I made at one of our recent trips to the library:

"I think Daddy's gonna be impressed with your drawing."
"I'm good at drawing."
"Mine is awesome, but I think it's not but it is."

She tags things like that a lot. Example: I'm cold but I'm not but I am.

"I'm makin' sad eyes and a sad face."

When I asked her who taught her all of that, she replied, "Just myself."

***

We made some Halloween cupcakes two weekends ago, and Adriana talked about liking to eat the "sparkles" on top.

When she saw Ceci the other day, she was so excited to talk to her she inexplicably shouted - out the window - "This is my pee-pee butt and this is my poo-poo butt!" complete with hand gestures indicating each location. Ceci later treated us to her version of the alphabet, which closes with "wine and Z." Sounds good to me, girlie!

Dad's Full Day

2008-10-26T21:14:00.004-04:00

Adriana's tally for the day: five "accidents" or undesired leakages, including one after the Unitarian Universalist service, one at the office, and three at home; two spilling incidents of a different nature, involving coffee in the bathroom and wine on the kitchen counter; the breaking of her favorite holidays video of Caillou (property of the local library) this morning; and the repeated butting of heads (figuratively speaking) tonight, including two two-minute time outs in the bathroom.

Incredible as it may seem, the day also had numerous highlights: Adriana's perfect behavior at the UU service (partly thanks to the presence of our landlord's son Seamus) and the subsequent membership meeting (no, I did not join yet!) thereafter; an " I love you this much" statement with the spreading of her arms in eagle wing position; and numerous "I want a hug" declarative statements each one followed by the most perfect of embraces a Daddy could ask for.

It's all in a Dad's day I guess, but I do feel rather exhausted right now!

P.S. After brainstorming with Mommy on the phone about the possible causes (hanging out with bigger kids, exploring boundaries, independence and identity, sugar-rich Halloween diet, and so forth), it came to me: Adriana didn't go to bed until 10 last night after two consecutive parties! She had a hang over!

Howliday

2008-10-15T08:54:00.002-04:00

We put our Halloween decorations up last night. This morning Adriana offered to add her new Halloween bear (another birthday gift from Ceci) to the display. Sweet...

Belated Wishes

2008-10-14T23:42:00.004-04:00

Adriana's day care threw her a little birthday party today. No sweets are allowed in from outside, but the kids made a big, beautiful banner in honor of the birthday girl - it's now hanging in her room. She also was given the book Curious George Goes to the Library - a perfect choice since we all know Adriana loves George, and she's become quite a fan of trips to the library as of late.

When she came home from her day at school, there was a package waiting from Tante Cocki! Two Sinterklaas puppets and a book of Sinterklaasliedjes. Much to my delight, there was a small package for me with a pair of dangly earrings in it! What a treat! (I mean, after all, I am the one who gave birth here!)

Post-Party

2008-10-14T22:56:00.003-04:00

Here are a few pics from after the hubub died down Sunday night when Adriana and Ceci were just playing outside. They are so precious together it's ridonkulous.

And some beautiful foliage in the back yard:

Finally, I suppose it was only a matter of time before Adriana asked to use the camera herself, so as of her 3rd birthday, I now let her take pictures under my supervision. Thank God she had such an excellent subject:

I look like I have three boy bands' worth of product in my hair.

I take direction exceedingly well.

Happy 3rd Birthday!

2008-10-14T21:41:00.006-04:00

Adriana turned three on Sunday, October 12th and we celebrated with a small party in the back yard, just like last year. The only thing that was missing, of course, was my Dad.

My Mom, Aunt Kathy and niece Gabriela arrived right before lunch on Saturday, so we went to The Upper Crust, a nice soup and sandwich place that bakes all their own bread, then topped that off with a dozen cookies from Tim Hortons. (Okay, we didn't eat them all in one sitting...)

We spent the bulk of the afternoon playing (or pretending to play) Gabriela's violin and rockin' out to Oxygen On Demand Karaoke. (Check your cable to see if you have it! I sing a few tunes several nights a week now - it's hot.) Adriana slept the whole night through with Gabriela in her bedroom, and then Grandma and Aunt Kathy came over after breakfast to help get ready for the party!

Applying nail art is an essential pre-party proceedure.

Click to see a bigger version.

Adriana had a great time as you can see and was lucky enough to receive a bunch of really cool presents. She's had a lot of fun the past two days playing with her pop beads (from Ceci), Little Einstein Dominoes (from Emily) and African Safari stickers and Little Mermaid purse/notebook from Aunt Kathy. She also got some fabulous Dora pajamas from Grandma and some PURPLE (Adriana's new favorite color!) clothes from Aunt Maria. Probably the best thing about the party, though, was the out of this world cake my brother Mikie made. Not only was it delicious (totally moist white cake, creamy but not-too-sweet frosting) but it also featured Dora in 3D, driving down a cocoa powder road in her car. Wow!

SUNDAY NIGHT: So proud of her sticker collage and still beaming from the wonderful day she had.

MONDAY MORNING: By the end of the day, that shirt was covered in finger paint (thanks, Aunt Kath!) and mip mop (thanks, Grandma!).

MONDAY NIGHT.

THE CAKE!

As long as we don't have to watch the show, I'm fine with Dora's image all over my house. She's cute - it's just her voice I can't stand.

Adriana's cards. They're now in the closet where her imaginary friend Ana Banana lives. We think Ana Banana is a bastardization of Hannah Montana. But it's also very close to the nickname "Annie Bananny," which is what Aunt Kathy called my cousin Ann as a child. Funny.

Serendipitously, I got an email today in fact from Baby Center about 3-year-olds and imaginary friends:

The all-systems-go imagination of a 3-year-old can conjure up a new presence in your home — your child's imaginary playmate. Although it can be startling to suddenly hear your child talking to a pretend pal, this development is common and very positive. In fact, it's a healthy sign that you have a creative child. Imaginary friends are great for kids — and are another sign that this year is one of the most magical of childhood.

***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! (But I'm not proud of you!*)

*Inside joke. Maybe I'll explain it later. Maybe I won't!

Flower Child

2008-10-14T15:58:00.003-04:00

Here's a picture Mark took of Adriana at the "Leaf-Peaking Party" they went to at our landlords' Brian and Leanna's house up in the Arkwright Hills:

The leaves are peaking now, for sure. Mark and I spent his lunch hour today cleaning the front yard, only to have it fill back up with every pull of the rake. It was as if we were in a snowglobe filled with leaves - really magical. I'll post some fall pics soon. The reds and oranges are lovely. We're putting up our Halloween decorations tonight!

Falling

2008-09-30T23:10:00.002-04:00

Adriana and I spent the day together enjoying the newly fall weather. This morning we sat on the front porch and read books while it rained. This afternoon, we went to the store to get groceries, fall decorations and paper goods for her birthday party! We spent the early evening hanging our autumnal accents and making my famous veggie chili. It was a lovely way to celebrate the season!

Adriana has gotten quite close to the kitties - literally, as you can see. She and Lucky have a special thing going. He snuggles up to her every night as she drifts off to sleep. She's really sweet with him now. (It only took three years...)

How to make ridiculously easy, amazingly delicious veggie chili. (You really don't miss the meat - trust me.)

1.) Combine diced tomatoes and various beans in a pot.

2.) Add sliced mushrooms. These are the heart of the dish. The meat, if you will.

3.) Add diced peppers. Tonight I used red, orange and yellow ones - but throw a green one in there, too if you can. Sometimes I add corn as well.

4.) Add chili powder, garlic, pepper, salt, hot sauce, etc. to taste. Or one convenient pack of all those things if you have one.

5.) Let it boil, then simmer, until veggies have cooked down a bit.

6.) Serve with cheese and sour cream on top, tortilla chips and beer on the side. Yum!

This is about a $12 dish and can feed three people for at least two days. Try it! You will be very pleased. It's the perfect fall dish and is great for parties. (Provided everyone in the room is *fart* close.)

Stumped!

2008-09-29T14:59:00.004-04:00

So, we had this tree in our yard that had been falling apart bit by bit, large branches hitting the roof sometimes when it stormed. We talked to our landlord about it, and he sent the "tree men" as we took to calling them over to cut it down today.

The guys arrived with some very impressive equipment - as you can see Adriana was both excited and intimidated by it all. We stood outside watching the guys work for a while with our landlord Brian, and then we went inside. All in all it only took a handful of guys about 2 and a half hours to take the entire tree down and leave the yard as if they'd never been there. It was quite awe-inspiring. (Mark says, "saw-inspiring." Hey-oh!)

While all the cutting and sawing was going on, I noticed the one flower left in Tara's yard. It seemed symbolic given the destruction happening on our side.

Almost done! This reminds me of my childhood. I remember my Dad cut a huge tree down with some guys once. I was thinking while these guys were here how easy everything has become for all of us and how that somehow diminishes the level of satisfaction involved with completing a task. I mean, these guys took down a tree that was three times the size of our house and barely broke a sweat. Hrmph. Maybe I should take up knitting... But I digress.

Final cut.

No more tree! Wow. Mark is already talking about planting a garden on that side now. I think Adriana is excited to turn the stump into her very own stage, and I'm just excited there's finally some light in the house. If only we could trim the other two trees in our yard... but, you know what they say, "Renters can't be choosers."

Margot and Dan's Wedding Part Five: The Morning After

2008-09-28T00:51:00.005-04:00

After a wonderful stay at the Wild Goose, it was time to pack up and head home. Our hostess Gail gave us this great cart to use to take all our stuff to the car; Adriana loved riding in it. The purple coat behind her is the new one she got:

I mean...... In conclusion, this picture Anya took at brunch just about says it all:

The end!

Margot and Dan's Wedding Part Four: Reception

2008-09-27T23:57:00.005-04:00

Adriana's wings and basket. Cat, the Maid of Honor. Proud Papa. Me and my buddy Livia.

It's the little details that make a party great.

Me and my buddy Eric, the best man. The crew of comics at dusk. Me and my baby! The Vinks with Michelle Buteau and her Dutch BF Gijs.

Katina! Adriana and her BF, Miles. Margot's Dad Bob Leitman. Dutch crew at sunset.

Photo by Anya Garrett.

The kids had a wonderful time at the reception (as if you can't tell). This picture kills me! The three of them were dancing and playing all night. At one point, Michael (the boys' Dad) took the kids into their room to watch Disney Channel, but they came out for cake, of course. By the end of the party the kids were running around barefoot and stealing cookies off the dessert table. It was really wonderful to watch them have so much fun in their little grown-up clothes. It's a night that I'll never forget.

Welcome to marriage, guys! Photo by Anya Garrett.

End of the night:

Adriana played a great duet with Michelle, and then we headed back to the hotel. She went to bed at 11 two nights in a row! What a big weekend she had...

Margot and Dan's Wedding Part Three: The Ceremony

2008-09-26T11:50:00.003-04:00

Unfortunately there are no pictures of Adriana walking down the aisle, but let me tell you, she was as good a flower girl as you can get, sprinkling a few petals at a time very gingerly on the ground, stopping each time she had to reach her hand in to get more because it's too hard for her yet to walk and do something else at the same time. I was so proud. It was one of the few moments that transcended thought, really. I mostly just stood there amazed, kind of giggling and sniffing at the same time. Several people told me as soon as they saw Adriana come down the aisle they started to cry. Good job, kid! Makin' 'em weep.

Photos by Anya Garrett.

So there's Margot being dropped off by her Dad. Both her parents are so lovely. Bob is particularly great because he's a Bronx Jew so he's got a very funny way of speaking and is super generous. Plus, you can tell Margot is Daddy's little girl. (If only I knew someone like that... who had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger...)

Like Mark and I, Margot and Dan had a female UU minister perform their service. But unlike our Rev. Donna, this lady continually pronounced Dan's name wrong. She called him Danielle - three times! I mean, we're all for gay marriage, but come on!

My pictures of the bridal party and the readings. They were really touching. I especially liked the one read by the couple, Ithaka by CP Cavafy, a non-traditional but clever and moving choice. It made me think about college days, and all the people I no longer know. It's interesting the circles we move in, isn't it? How and where people intersect. But I digress...

Photos by Anya Garrett.

Again, just like at our wedding (ha!), Margot and Dan decided to honor the dead, but they did it in such a cool way. For each deceased family member named, they poured a bottle of colored sand into a vase, creating a vibrant memorial sculpture by the end. I really loved that. And their vows, of course, were amazing. Nothing makes me feel better about the world than watching two people say, "I've always got your back." And meaning it.

Take note: The bride is wearing peacock-inspired sandals. Yes, girl. Yes! Do it!

Anya Garrett's fantastic photo of the "rice" flying in the air. I hope it wasn't really rice, because whatever it was, Adriana ate hers during the ceremony. She also managed to pick a quiet moment to shout, "Mommy, I'm hot." But other than that she sat pretty still. More soon!

Photo by Anya Garrett.

Margot and Dan's Wedding Part Two: Pre-Show

2008-09-25T14:58:00.005-04:00

Saturday, September 20, 2008

We woke up late (yes!) and puttered around the grounds at Eco Village. Adriana had fun with the cattails down by the pond, since they're featured in her favorite fishing episode of Caillou (see earlier post).

Mark decided to go for a longer walk, so Adriana and I stayed in. I tried to read Silent Spring by Rachel Carson (the woman who started the modern Environmental movement and who the road the Wild Goose is on is named after) but it's kinda hard to read when there's a little waitress constantly trying to take your order, "sir." Adriana and I ended up going out to look for Mark and by the time we got back to the porch he was there waiting for us. (Remember, that's what life used to be like before cell phones? People just magically appeared!) We were all pretty hungry by then, so we decided to go to The State Diner for lunch "when we needed it." (Their slogan is, "Breakfast anytime, lunch when you need it and dinner at the diner!" Amazing.) They had these fun booths with weird little seats that you had to pull down to sit on, like movie theatre seats. (Some people might just use the adjective "retractable," but I like to describe things using similie, okay? Like a poet.) Lunch was delish - Adriana had grilled cheese (duh), I had a BLT (naturally) and Mark had pancakes (of course). Afterwards we walked over to a children's used clothing store called Mama Goose (Ithaca is representin' on the web, y'all!) where we got Adriana a new (used - okay, pre-owned) winter jacket for $13 after spinning the wheel and getting 25% off! (I should so go on The Price is Right.) It's purple, which I think is rapidly becoming Adriana's new favorite color. After all, she's seen enough pink, I think.

But enough with the eating and the strolling! It was time to get ready for the wedding. (When you have as much leg hair as I do, you need a three hour window.) We got all showered up and made it over to LaTourelle at exactly 3:45 as promised. I wanted to get there earlier, which is why Adriana ended up wearing her hair down instead of in a bun, but it was just as well, I think. Margot's mom made a beautiful little headdress for Adriana, which looked great on top of her flowing blond locks.

Here are some of Anya's pictures from the dressing room:

And here are mine:

Adriana, flanked by Miles on the left and Declan on the right.

UH... DORABLE!!! I mean, do you see those wings? Come on!

And, to close out this post, Anya's excellent capturing of the pre-show bridal game face:

Bring this wedding on!

Margot and Dan's Wedding, Part One: Travel to Ithaca and Rehearsal

2008-09-25T13:19:00.007-04:00

Friday, September 19, 2008

Here's Adriana, sporting a new dress and a "practice bun," ready to leave on our weekend adventure! We'd been talking about the wedding for quite a while and her duties as flower girl, making her try her dress and fairy wings on and explaining that she'd have to throw petals out of a basket. She was pretty excited about it, and all morning as we were getting ready she'd say, "Are you ready to go to the weddin'?"

By the time we got in the car to leave (at the time I was hoping we'd arrive) she fell asleep almost right away. When she woke up, we were in the Finger Lakes, and she kept saying, "Ithaca, Ithaca, Ithaca." It was great. As we inched closer and closer on the country roads she'd ask, "Is this the weddin' road?" We sang a few songs and finally made it to our destination, the beautiful Wild Goose Bed and Breakfast at Eco Village.

What can I say? I was excited. Besides, the photographer has to be photographed, too, you know...

We had the whole house to ourselves on arrival, which was great, and Gail (the owner) left all kinds of toys and books thoughtfully placed in each room for Adriana's benefit. We walked the gorgeous backyard, put our things away and left for the rehearsal at LaTourelle!

With Amy, Margot's cousin and the ring bearers' Mom. Yep, there were two ring bearers - twins! Gorgeous little boys. Photo by Anya Garrett.

Adriana was a little clingy at the rehearsal, but understandably so. She was in a new place with new people at night - don't we all get that way at parties? (Who are these people?) She was back in full swing by the time we had dinner at Maxie's Supper Club, though, which was totally and utterly scrumdidlyumptious. BBQ'd fish, beans, cole slaw, spicy fries, corn bread, salad... that's my jam! Incidentally, I ran into a girl I went to Fredonia with who was working at the bar - I couldn't remember her name at first (Chris), but she knew me right away and shouted, "You were on the White Rapper Show!" In a BBQ joint. Awkward. We had a nice chat, nonetheless. It's fun to run into people from the past at awesomely random times like that.

Margot and Dan gave us a bottle of local wine in a pretty bag with a peacock on the front (you'll notice a theme) that had some snacks and a book for Adriana in it. We think we might have left Adriana's book at the Wild Goose and taken one of theirs instead, but such is travel with a child!

Fishing

2008-09-25T12:12:00.005-04:00

From Mark:

Apart from Curious George, Adriana's favorite cartoon to watch is Caillou, recording the adventures of a four-year-old and his family and friends. Adriana can't get enough of watching the same episode again and again. Her favorite episode is called "All Wet." This morning, before going to daycare, Adriana and I were watching the episode for the xxxth time. In one scene, Caillou is at home with his mommy and daddy, when his grandpa arrives for the big fishing outing wearing his lucky fishing hat (apparently no guarantee for catching fish as Caillou's mom pointedly reminds grandpa of). At this point, I commented: "You know, grandpa loved to fish." Hereupon, Adriana replied: "Can we do that again? Can we go fishing with grandpa?" I know grandpa in heaven took his fishing gear out and came down to go fishing with the girl he adored. We all miss you grandpa! You are not forgotten!

Backyardigans

2008-09-18T22:55:00.005-04:00

Fall is such a great time to be outdoors! I finally got some better shots of the heron yesterday, coupled here with some photos I took of the final rays of sun last night. We followed them all the way to the furthest corner of the back yard just before the light was gone...

Lip gloss and a cell phone... all she needs is an iPod filled with the Jonas Brothers and we'll have done our job as parents.

Don't poo-poo it...

2008-09-18T16:54:00.006-04:00

As you know, I've been hoping for about a year that Adriana would finally develop enough interest in the potty to commit to training (or "learning" as they call it at her daycare). I'm all for child-friendly language, and I guess "training" does conjure up a harsher image, but really, when you've been shitting your pants for three years, you do kinda have to train yourself out of that, don'tcha think? (You don't have to be a child to answer! Some of you older grown-ups know what I'm talkin' about...) I mean, listen to what it sounds like when you replace "training" with "learning" in other scenarios:

"Okay, troops. We're here for one reason, and that's COMBAT LEARNING. Now get out there and KILL THE ENEMY - I mean, gently (but firmly) insert bullets in members of the opposition. I mean, the people wearing different colors than us. Not their skin. Their uniforms. I mean, their clothing that all looks the same. Not that all brown people look the same. Just that they're all evil. Yeah."

"Listen, gymnasts! You are here for OLYMPIC LEARNING! Now get on those uneven bars - I mean, individually separate bars connected at different heights - and show me what you've got! I mean, display for me your grace and grandeur while carefully executing each trick - I mean, skill. You know, the stuff you've been trained to do..."

But anyhoo - speaking of gymnastics - that's just the thing, actually, that made Adriana finally cave to using the toilet full time. That, and the fact that at last I had the brilliant idea of printing out a potty chart to put stickers on every time she goes. When this puppy is full, Adriana gets to go to "mynastics" like Ceci. She's almost there! Look out Shawn Johnson!

Update

2008-09-16T23:30:00.002-04:00

Just put up tons of stuff, so scroll down until you see "Back to School" and read up from there. Thanks!

Garden Gorgeous

2008-09-16T23:16:00.005-04:00

Here we are, caught up to today. If you've been paying attention, you'll notice we moved the impatients that were in pots on the porch to the garden and the mums we bought are flourishing just stunningly. But the brightest flower in this picture is the one front and center.

I love you, Adriana. You are my flower.

Alphabet!

2008-09-16T23:13:00.000-04:00

Saturday night - big show!

Great Blue

2008-09-16T23:09:00.004-04:00

As I mentioned previously, we've had a heron in our midst for the past few weeks, and most likely two - a mother and her offspring. I finally got a chance on the 9th to sneak out and take a picture. Here she is!

Adriana and I went swimming together about a week before this was taken and we got much closer than that, but I didn't have my camera on me, because, you know, we were swimming and stuff.

Along the creek bank. Looks like someone tried to throw a mum out but it got stuck and grew there! I love the orange and the yellow in the sunshine. We'll be seeing many more fall colors soon...

Potverdedorrie!

2008-09-16T23:04:00.002-04:00

I returned home on the 8th to a delicious spread - Mark bought lots of snacky foods like pepperoni, bread, humus, veggies and cheese and we all happily stuffed our faces. Just as we were finishing up, Adriana gave us a lesson in manners, Dutch-style.

Ceci's turn!

2008-09-16T22:56:00.006-04:00

While I was gone the 3rd-8th to do some work in the city, Adriana was busy with the other girl-next-door, Ceci. Candace and Mark went with the kids to the Red, White and Blues Fest where Candace bought both girls those aDORAble hats. (Tara and Candace both received hand-made Thank You cards for their thoughtful gestures.)

Mark made both of the crowns. He's quite crafty, I must say. Just the other day he had the brilliant idea to crib a storyline from Caillou and make Adriana a menu out of the grocery store newspaper insert so we could play restaurant. (Adriana's taken to asking, "What do you want, sir?" and then scribbling down orders on her notepads.) I think he and I had more fun making it than she did!

Continuing on with the theme...

2008-09-16T22:45:00.003-04:00

More fun time pics from our Sept. 2 hang-out with Tara and Emily!

We've drawn on the sidewalk a lot this summer...

Sometimes our neighbor Mary Ann gets in on the action. (Incidentally, we met Mary Ann at the hospital when she drew Adriana's blood for her follow-up tests after her febrile seizure last year. Only later did we realize we were neighbors.) Now we're so close she let us draw Keith Haring replicas in her driveway! (Can you guess whose outline is whose?)

I took Adriana to get some new clothes and sneakers that day, so I thought I'd get a pic of her kicks before they got ruined.

I think the girls had fun together...

Later that night, Adriana put on a fashion show with all her new clothes. She's got the print model thing down already! I call this pose "Pious in Alaska." (Oh wait, that's Sarah Palin.)

Back to School!

2008-09-16T15:06:00.004-04:00

Well, it's been a busy few weeks around the Vinkstiglia abode what with Mark going back to school, me traveling more again and Adriana sort of starting a "new year" at daycare. Here's some of what we've been up to since I last posted:

Mark and Adriana have been into collecting little bits of nature and piling them on the doorstep. Most of the displays consist of acorns, cherries, helicopters, pine cones and these huge tennis ball-like seeds from the tree across the street. Adriana loves to squish them and then say "Eww!" when the gooey black stuff inside oozes out.

We spent Labor Day weekend tooling around Chautauqua County trying to soak up the last of the summer. We drove to Gerry and got some mums at a nice farm stand that had a beautiful field of Gladiolas next to it. We snuck in to take some pics and a few souvenir stalks home.

When we got home, Mark started planting the mums and much to our surprise, a little frog hopped out of one of the containers! But Adriana was more interested in my jewelry than anything else...

That night, we followed our neighbors Tara, Chris and Emily down some frightening corn-lined roads to watch the fireworks display at Midway State Park. I'd never even heard of the place, but I knew there were going to be fireworks set off on all sides of Chautauqua Lake. (We could actually see another display exploding simultaneously in the distance - it was pretty amazing.) But before the fireworks started, Adriana and Emily delighted in the free rides! Here are some pictures Chris and Tara took. (Mark and I, uh, don't do rides.)

Not only did the girls get their thrills in the air, but Tara also bought each of them a Magic Princess Wand - they were the hit of the night. Adriana and Emily were obsessed with turning their lights on and off, and we were glad to have them on the way back to the car in the kind of pitch blackness only the country can provide.

We invited our friend John plus Tara, Chris and Emily over for a BBQ Monday in the backyard. We've eaten outside and/or with friends several times this summer, and that's been really nice. It's been so great to have cool neighbors on both sides of us who have a kid - I don't think we could have planned that any better. (In fact, we didn't plan it at all!)

Here's a picture of Adriana and I playing with her wand that night:

And here's a fun, random shot from that morning:

Who's Mommy's little liberal hippie?!

Well, I think that's enough for now! Don't want to squeeze too much into one post! (Besides, I have to go pick Adriana up from daycare.) More soon...

XO,
Carolyn

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you.

2008-08-26T12:18:00.007-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I have a lovely, large-ish tattoo of some florals and vines on the top of my back. Adriana has been interested in it since she was old enough to see it, running her fingers over the lines. Recently she's been chiding me as I get into the shower, "Mommy, don't wash your tattoo off!" As most of you probably know, she's been obsessed with temporary tattoos and using stickers as tattoos all summer long. So I shouldn't have been shocked last night when she said:

"Maybe when I'm bigger, I can get a real tattoo on my back!"

I shouldn't have been shocked, but I was.

"Uh, not until you're 16," I said.

"Or maybe when I'm 3."

Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

As my friend Michelle Buteau would say, "chea." As in, chea right.

Let's get your ears pierced first.

After the conversation was said and done, I realized that even 16 was way too young. Not just because 16 year olds shouldn't have tattoos, but because whatever you pick at 16 - or even 18 for that matter - is gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. The girl who rescued my hair yesterday told me her friend gave her a homemade tattoo (yeah, the old-fashioned way) at age 13. She had it covered as an adult. Why? Because it was a marijuana leaf with a yin-yang next to it.

Trust me, kid. I would never let you get a tattoo at age 3. Inking Dora and Boots around your navel may seem like a good idea now... but trust me. Come your wedding night, you're gonna be wishing that Dora was a dolphin.

Cecilia, you're breakin' my heart.

2008-08-26T11:42:00.007-04:00

Saturday morning, standing in the kitchen, all of a sudden I heard a thud on the back door. I looked down and saw a tuft of blond hair, two blue eyes and an adorable smile. "Cece!," Adriana shouted. "Come play in the water!," Cece yelled back. I opened the door and in walked Cece in her bathing suit. "I gotta put my babin' suit on!" "Yeah, I got my babin' suit on!" And so the day began.

If you've been paying attention, you might have noticed how long Adriana's hair has been getting. Sunday night, while about to give Adriana a bath, I was appalled when I noticed her bangs were touching the bridge of her nose. I cut them in the tub, then told her I would cut her hair when she got out. I was afraid she'd squeal about it, since previous trips to the hairdresser had not gone so well, but she was fine. I think it turned out great, especially considering I had no idea what I was doing:

Then Monday she got to show her new look off in a pair of shades borrowed from Cece. They switched sippy cups and chairs, too. Share and share alike, I suppose. Cece has inspired Adriana to paint her nails, too. I don't know if you can see it, but she's currently wearing purple sparkles. So bad ass.

Speaking of hair, here's a snippet of this post from my blog about what's going on with mine:

The color I was supposed to wind up with is called "French Eclair." Delish, right? Who doesn't want hair that reminds people of a pastry filled with creamy delight? I mean, I bought the thing because it says "Couleur Experte" right on the box. That's COLOR EXPERT, but in FRENCH! French people are the snootiest in the world, right? They have to be good at doing highlights.

Well, the French may be, but it turns out I'm not. I was going for this:

But I got this:

That's a guy.

I know it looks like that a) because I have a mirror, and b) because despite my husband's attempts to reassure me ("I like it. No, I like it."), when my kid toddled into the room she exclaimed, "MOMMY, YOUR HAIR IS ORANGE!"

You can check here for an update.

Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Well, that chaps my ass."

2008-08-22T13:16:00.007-04:00

As you must know by now, our little house in the country is most lusciously located right across the street from a babbling brook, aka "the creek," properly titled Canadaway Creek. Here are a few nice pictures that Mark took of the tiny falls that make up our lovely view:

Guess who went swimming in there last night?

Me, me - I did! Me!

Editor's Note: Using natural, rocky waterfalls as a waterslide in the same way one might apply man-made PVC pipe is probably not the smartest idea. But boy was it fun!

Alas, now Adriana's not the only one who could benefit from a healthy smearing of diaper rash ointment.

Mark finally tried the slide right before he got out, but he had knee-length shorts on. Adriana was pretty fierce, standing in the current, having me hold her in the bubbles and finally letting me cradle her while we floated in the current, just a bit away from the source. I decided to slide down the falls one more time while Mark and Adriana dried off, and just as I did, our nightly guest, a Great Blue Heron, glided right over my head. It was, in a word, glorious.

There and Back Again - but this time for real.

2008-08-20T16:00:00.005-04:00

Well, summer is almost over - maybe not technically, but at least in the sense that school starts for Mark next week, and let's face it: more work usually means less play. Besides, I know I'm actually looking forward to fall - to that sense that it's time to buckle down and get something accomplished before the long, cold winter. And I can say for the first time in a long time, we actually experienced a real summer since we weren't in the city for most of it. Here are some pics from our recent trips to Grandma's, New York and then back to Grandma's - just in time for Mark's birthday.

August 7th: Mark spent the day weeding my mother's garden. I discovered that broccoli really, truly flowers if you don't pick it. Who knew?!

Adriana is a big fan of fresh picked broc. She eats it right out of the garden. Take that, Jessica Seinfeld!

While Mark worked in the garden and I walked around snapping shots, the kids were in the pool. Adriana was "glad" to see Gabriella and Jaielle! Get it? Glad-i-olas? (Is it time to retire yet?)

That night we all went to the Oswego Farmer's Market (after all these years, Mark said it was his first time there) and Adriana got a homemade dress that matches one Gabriela has. Here they are modelling them the next day. Don't they look adorable together?

Right out of the Sears catalogue!

Okay - this one is more of an American Apparel ad.

Saturday, August 9th we left Grandma's and headed to New York, where we stayed with our friend Cecilia for most of the time. Since Cecilia lives in Brooklyn, we decided to see what Prospect Park had to offer. Adriana had a great time playing there, until we thought it was time to take a pit stop at the bathroom. I don't know that we've been pushing particularly hard to potty train her, but for some reason when she couldn't go she got really upset. So upset, in fact, that her screams elicited a knock on the door from the attendant who must have thought we were tying her up and beating her in there. I said, "Everything's fine - she just wants to pee, that's all." As we extracted Adriana from the toilet and started pushing her across the park in her stroller, she slammed her feet down on the sidewalk, crying, "I WANT TO GO POOPIE!" (I wonder if that made Overheard in New York?) As you can imagine, it was a fun day for all involved. She didn't stop tantruming until I sat down on a bench and cradled her to my chest; after a few minutes she finally let go and fell asleep.

Mark had to go get his passport renewed at the Dutch Consulate on Monday, so I found myself driving around midtown looking for a place to park. Lo and behold, who do I see as I drive past the TRL studios in Times Square but The Jonas Brothers, my niece Gabriela's new obsession. I decided to be the cool aunt that I am and stop and take a few photos:

A few days later, we made it to one of our favorite places, Wave Hill. We stayed at our friend Clea's the night before and she lives right nearby, so it was perfect. We've been to Wave Hill twice in the Spring and were thoroughly impressed, but I have to say it's even more beautiful in the Summer.

After a quick trip back to Fredonia ostensibly to feed the cats, we travelled back to my mom's on Friday, August 15th. In honor of Mark's birthday we ate a delicious picnic dinner engineered by my sister Maria and prepared by the fabulous cook known 'round these parts as Grandma. All of Mark's favorite foods were present: kielbasa, brats and Buffalo chicken sausage served with a side of sausage! The food was so good and plentiful we ate it for three days.

Saturday, as a kind of birthday/anniversary present we were able to go to the Sterling Renaissance Festival, or "the Faire," as most people call it. I had a really strong hankering to go, which is odd since I haven't been there in forever. I practically grew up at the Faire - it's where I worked my first job at age 14 scooping ice cream until I was 17 when I got my first paid acting gig as a part of their Groundlings troupe. My brother Mikie and my Mom agreed to watch the baby for the day, so while Adriana was happily decorating cakes with her uncle and running errands with Grandma and Gab, Mark and I were watching goofy shows, cheering on the jousters, and most importantly for me - running into some of my old friends in one of the most magical places on the planet.

Our big two week trek ended on Sunday with the St. Stephen's Bazaar. We went to mass (like good Catholics, because, you know - we are...) and then delighted in polish food, games, face painting, etc. Adriana won three Beanie Babies (with Jaielle's help) and bounced several times in the Air Hop castle. Leaving, as you can surmise, was difficult. She was so upset on the way home she lost her balloon out the car window ("Mommy, go back and GET IT!"), but by the time we got in the pool at Grandma's, all was well again. Such is the (exhausting) life of a nearly three year old.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

2008-08-15T16:15:00.001-04:00

A collage from over the years in honor of Mark's 44th birthday. Yes, I actually posted this today (the 19th) but I wanted to date it on his actual birthday. Pics from the party at Grandma's house coming soon!

Time to get out the baseball bat...

2008-08-14T17:48:00.002-04:00

Or so says Mark, since Adriana strutted out of the bathroom when we picked her up at daycare and announced, "Zachary is my boyfriend."

Um, I'm sorry? Come again?

As we walked upstairs to Mark's office so he could print out his syllabus, I asked Adriana how Zachary became her boyfriend. She shouted, "I'm not gonna tell you about it again!" Then reconsidered, "I'll tell you at home."

I questioned her further. "How did Zachary become your boyfriend?" "We put on a dancing show," she said. I told her a boyfriend who dances is always a good thing. (On second thought, a boyfriend who dances is often a gay boyfriend, but hey - that's better still.) She stopped halfway up the stairs and told me, "He did this," and wiggled her finger between her two lips, making that blabber-blabber-blabber noise children love to make.

While waiting for Mark's print job to be done, I couldn't resist asking one more time: "So, how do you know Zachary is your boyfriend?"

"He was nice to me in the play yard," she said.

Well, ladies, sometimes that's good enough, isn't it?

The Hobbit, Or Hair and Back Again

2008-08-06T08:39:00.003-04:00

I have what one might describe as the feet of a Hobbit. In case you're not familiar with what I mean, here's a visual aid:

So, the other day, when Adriana walked in on me shaving, and she saw that I had shaving cream all over my feet, she looked at my toes and said, "Mommy, don't shave off your polish!"

Don't worry, I won't. Pedicures are too expensive. I'd like to say I shaved up to treat myself, but actually my friend Jenny took me out for it. I don't think she could stand to look at my toes anymore...

Best Anniversary Present Ever.

2008-08-04T08:10:00.002-04:00

7 hours of solid, uninterrupted, deep, peaceful sleep. Thank you, Adriana! In fact, I was able to let your father sleep an extra half an hour. Unheard of!

I can guarantee you, the previous post will be the only one in this history of this blog to be time stamped at 6:56 am.

What's new in the garden? Round 3.

2008-08-04T06:56:00.006-04:00

Or 4 maybe. I'm not sure. But I think this will probably be the last new burst before fall. We have three chrysanthemums planted in the front, so those will come out (hopefully) and the rest of the garden will probably just be bags of leaves at that point. But, as the dearly departed Estelle Getty used to say on the Golden Girls, I digress...

It makes sense that I've started to think about fall, though. For the longest time now, August always seems like the end of the summer to me, even though summer technically goes well into September. I don't know why. There's just something about August. It's too golden. Too brash. I think the sun in August feels vengeful, like it's trying to kill all the greenery with its heat. And then, suddenly, September is beautiful. But it's different. It's not summer anymore. It's the beginning of the long winter that all the years of my East Coast life have known.

I feel that way more in the country, though. Summer in the city is a totally different ball game. (Why do you think the Yankees wear short sleeves until the Playoffs?) August in the city is unbearable, and the heat goes right on through the beginning of October. Finally, around Halloween, the city is a "cool" 65 degrees. Summer never ends in the city. Especially not the last few years, when we've hardly had any winter chill at all. I remember that the first couple winters I lived in New York were freezing! I can vividly recollect walking with Mark at the Astoria Boulevard station, coming down the stairs from the elevated platform, my coat not quite covering my butt. He tried to keep me warm, but there was just no use. I needed long johns under my jeans it was so cold! But the temperate Springs are a new thing in New York, because the years we had those freezing winters, by the time Mother's Day rolled around it was 97 degrees! Now New York stays in the 70s until June.

All that said, clearly I know nothing about the weather. Or plants. I just try to enjoy both of them as much as I can. So, here are a few new flowers in our garden. Hope you enjoy them, too!

This little guy just popped out overnight. I have no idea what it is. I thought the leaves beneath it were weeds, but Mark thought my Mom had something like this in her yard, so we left it. It looks like a squash plant to me, but I doubt that's what it is. Any takers? Not the best picture, but a cute little flower nonetheless. Our front garden is such a little rainbow of love, I'm sure people drive by and say, "Look, Fred! That must be where the gays live!"

These guys are in the back yard, in our clump of orange and redness at the end of the driveway. I guess they're tiger lillies, but they're a different variety than the two other orange lillies we've seen already this year. Ha! Who knew? I guess it's fitting, since Mark is Dutch.

Pretty purple flowers on a bush in the back yard. It's only flowering near the top, which is kind of strange, so I guess the bottom part isn't getting enough light. I love this!

We have this red bird, a Cardinal, I guess, who kind of "lives" in our back yard. He's so brilliantly red, like a fire truck, that you can see him a mile (well, at least a hundred feet) away. I didn't think I'd have the chance to take a picture of him, but then yesterday he landed right on this weathervane we have. I was so excited. I crept in slowly, zoomed-in, and then Adriana shouted, "Mommy!" and he was gone. But hey, here's the weathervane:

Happy Anniversary to Us!

2008-08-03T21:05:00.006-04:00

Well, we made it. At least we can say that. 6 years of marriage, almost 10 years of being together. (Mark and I are writing this post together, and we both just stopped, re-read those sentences and laughed.) I mean, what can you say? Being married and raising a child is not for the faint of heart. God bless those of you that have more than one kid. I don't know how you do it! Then again, I think the only people who read this blog who have more than one kid are my Aunt Kathy and Mark's sisters Wilma and Trees. Here's to you, ladies! We raise the beers we bought with bottle refund money, a debit card and loose change (yes, it took all three) to you!

We had a nice day today, all three of us, since babysitters seem so hard to come by. We sort of just hung around the house all day yesterday, so I wanted to make sure we got out and did something today. When I asked Adriana first thing if she wanted to go to the beach, she said no. Then I asked her if she wanted to go to church, and she said yes. It's amazing - Adriana loves what most children dread (as Mark just whispered to me, "Partially because she associates church with Grandma." Aww.) In fact, when we met Mark's colleague Joe in church, Adriana told him, "After this, we're going to Grandma's." (Your picture is finally up, GT! It only took me 2 1/2 years. But clearly she does not need to see it to think of you constantly.) We had a morning filled with Joe, actually, and not just coffee and co-workers: Adriana was eating St. Joseph's bread in St. Joseph's Church! I'm not even Joe-king. (Pity chuckle...)

We'd been talking since Friday about going to the "Beach Bash" on the Dunkirk pier, so we finally headed over to it today. Adriana kept chanting, "Beach Bash. Beach Bash. Beach Bash." (The things one'll do in the name of alliteration.) Despite our reservations, the bash did not disappoint; we saw the remnants of the sandcastle competition, and I have to say, I think we were all impressed. Take a look:

The Doggie/Kitty combo and the Mermaid were both made by a professional sand sculptor named Carl Jara. (Click into his website - his Flickr stream is amazing!) We were talking to him Friday night as he was perfecting the DogCat. He was a very chill dude, as you might expect a man with the patience to sculpt sand for a living to be. The cupcake was made by local bakery, The Upper Crust, and they took first place in the "Corporate Adult" category. We like to think of our castle as "Last Entry, First Prize," but some older guy walked by us and said, "Oh, I get it, buckets." Thanks.

This was one of our favorite entries, and we were stunned that it didn't get some kind of honorable mention. The judges obviously have no sense of creativity:

See? It's a woman buried in the sand! Get it? Her head, and then her arms out to the side - her belly is in the middle (is someone preggers?) - and her feet, covered in lovely shell flip-flops that match her shell-lined french pedicure. What? That's a ghetto girl's dream come true!

The last sculpture of note is in honor of Fredonia's own Olympic Pole Vaulter Jenn Stuczynski. We only know her name because it's on signs all over town. (No one asked us if we wanted one on our lawn!)

Adriana had a ducky time:

(She's wearing the duck necklace she got in Hoboken at Funfest in June.)

All in all we spent about 4 hours on the beach, and even though we lost some precious potty training time, we enjoyed every minute of it.

New Header and Colors!

2008-08-02T22:00:00.002-04:00

Alright - I got some complaints about people not being able to read the old fuschia on black design, so hopefully this is better! I think this is the 4th or 5th redesign of this blog - wowzers! I love this one and I hope you do, too. Let me know!

XO,
Carolyn

Catch Phrase

2008-08-02T15:40:00.013-04:00

I've said it before, I'll probably say it again (as she's studying for the SAT), but Adriana's vocabulary is booming lately. She has officially become precocious. (Did I spell that right?) Guess we know who she takes after in that department...

Here are a few things that Mark and I have noticed her saying lately that either amuse or annoy us:

"Let's sing the Donzer song!" The "donzer" song is the National Anthem; donzer is taken from the second line, "by the dawn's early light." Ha! We got into singing it on the 4th of July, and even though she has no idea what it means, she can sing almost all the lyrics! The first song I remember knowing like that was "Like a Virgin" by Madonna. I had no idea what a virgin was, or what being touched for the very first time was all about. I mean, why had no one touched her yet? Didn't her Mom at least wash her face in the morning? Sheesh! That says nothing of my experience with "Papa Don't Preach." "I'm keepin' my baby." For years I thought she was talking about her boyfriend...

"Mip Mop." AKA, lip gloss. Adriana loves to wear it and smear it all over my face when she has extra on her fingers. "Here, Mommy, put on this Mip Mop."

She just used her first 5 syllable word today: "accidentally." When Mark asked her what she said, she whispered, "never mind," another one of her favorite phrases.

Early today when I told her she'd have to have a time-out if she hit me again, she shouted, "It's not fair!" Perhaps they've been studying the judicial system in daycare? When I asked her in reply, "Who's the boss?" She said, "You." I said, "That's right. Do you want to get fired?" She retorted, "no," which she can also spell. N-O.

Adriana also loves to say "wonderful." The other night, while Mark was tucking her in, she asked him to tell her "all about the wonderful day we had today." Aww. Recapping the day is now officially part of her bedtime ritual. In fact, she will often go over the day's events by herself long after we've left the room, acting things out with the many stuffed animals and toys surrounding her in bed.

And in perhaps the funniest recollection of the week, when Adriana was about to do something bad yesterday, I chided her with the classic warning, "Don't even think about it." Without missing a beat, she came back with, "I'm thinking about it. I thought about it. But I'm not gonna do it." Ha!

Speaking of bad behavior... Adriana's newfound communication skills have been accompanied by a desire to push the envelope and see just how much she can get away with. (Frankly, there's a fine line between smarty-pants and smart-mouthed, and it's too bad they seem to go hand in hand.) She's been getting quite a few time-outs lately for things like hitting and talking back. In retaliation, later on she'll say, "You have a time-out, Daddy!" (Especially if he's on the toilet.) She also uses Mommy and Daddy interchangeably, which seems to be fine by both Mark and I. Because she gets used to saying only Daddy when I'm not here, she sometimes calls me Daddy. When I'm home, she's so excited to say Mommy she sometimes calls Mark that. Maybe she should call us both Maddy? Or Dommy. At least she hasn't called either one of us a "stupidface" yet.

A-Dora-Ble

2008-08-02T13:39:00.006-04:00

As most of you know, I have been promising Adriana a red and pink room as a reward for completing potty training. Well, Mark and I looked realistically at our budget and realized that we probably can't afford any new furniture, and since we rent it would be a hassle to paint, so I decided the best way to tackle this impending remodel would be to simply give her room the deep cleaning it was in desperate need of. (Adriana still hasn't completed potty training, or even really begun, but we are all going to stay home this week and run around with no underwear on until one of us pees on the toilet. Let's hope it's Adriana.)

I had good impetus to get rid of a lot of Adriana's baby stuff because my girl Maria (better known as Fabrisha Dankins from Miss Rap Supreme) is having a boy in September. I was able to give her Adriana's Leap Frog table (it was actually on her registry! that felt awesome), our Parents Big Top Circus soft book and yes, the entire turtle crib set. (It's more fitting for a boy, anyway.) Adriana's room is so much cleaner and better organized now, we decided to go for it and get her big girl bed set ahead of time. She had mentioned in passing, "Maybe we could get a Dora bed?" So when we found one that we knew would fit her crib mattress, we figured what the hay? Here it is, folks:

It's been on her bed for just over a week now, and this morning we discovered that Adriana is not the only one who likes it:

Adriana's room will most likely not be this clean again for three years, so, soak it up now:

Doctor, Doctor, Gimmie the News

2008-07-30T10:31:00.004-04:00

Adriana went to the doctor briefly on Tuesday to get her yearly physical for daycare admission. Turns out she can't actually get her 3rd year exam til October, but the doctor did give Adriana a TB test. Mark said she didn't even flinch when she felt the prick! I am so proud. Of course, given her new obsession with stickers, the giant Cinderella sticker waiting at the end of the ordeal might have been good incentive for that stiff upper lip.

I'll post some more pictures tomorrow. Big meeting today! Wish me luck.

Tattooed Lady

2008-07-26T11:31:00.000-04:00

Adriana's new look as of late:

Stickers from our neighbor, Candice. Her granddaughter, Cece, is Adriana's "best friend." Not in quotes because I'm making fun, but because that's what Adriana said herself. They are adorable together. They have been natural playmates since the day they met. In fact, I was just thinking yesterday that "Cece's ball" is one of the first things Adriana ever said. Mark and I cleaned Adriana's room yesterday and unearthed said ball, returning it after a year. Better late than never, huh?

County Fair

2008-07-24T11:13:00.005-04:00

Mark and I had the pleasure of going to the County Fair yesterday with the kids from Adriana's daycare program. They are all lovely little children and their teachers are so great. Everthing the daycare does is all about order, structure, rhythm, routine, etc. and it's so clear that children really thrive in that kind of environment. I've seen women have more trouble with their own handful of kids than this entire tiny army of preschoolers would ever dream of causing. Plus, I think kids are often better behaved in a group than alone - I don't know why - not that Adriana is ever really bad on her own, I'm just saying, it's impressive.

Moo-ving on! Here are some pictures I took of our adventure through the animal displays. The barns looked great - walking through the animals of course reminded me of my father - all the years going to The Great New York State Fair... drinking fresh milk for a quarter... the butter sculpture... the Center of Progress building. Mark and I walked most of the day with his fellow professor, Bruce (super nice guy), and I told him some random anecdote about Dad needing to get to the fair bright and early just to have breakfast at that one place he liked. I don't know... my Mom and I were talking recently about how Dad's skill with his hands was such a special gift, and I see now how the art of the laborer, craftsman and farmer is really undervalued and therefore at risk of disappearing. It doesn't seem possible, since these are the people that traditionally provide us with food, clothing and shelter - but most people have lost touch with the community around them. Everything comes from so far away. It was nice to see something local and feel a part of that. Not in a condescending, "Aw, isn't this quaint" kind of way. But in a very real, very tangible way. I guess it's just good to know that seeing a cow can still provide grown-ups with a sense of wonder.

The highlights for the kids were the chance to pet a new-born piglet, the tropical animal tent (where the tortoise was on display) and the water spout brewing in the distance over the lake. I was scared shitless when I looked up and saw it, thinking it was a tornado, but according to the very earthy woman I was standing next to, "We had three of these last year. It's no big deal." One of the kids was a little freaked out by it, but most of them just thought it was pretty cool. Ah, to be young and carefree!

This week in gardening...

2008-07-22T12:20:00.003-04:00

...is pretty slow, since I think almost everything that will come and go has come and gone, except for one flower we're waiting for in our cluster at the end of the driveway. Mark and I spent the hours during Adriana's nap the other day weeding it out, trimming the rose bush and pulling the dead Queen Anne's Lace. It looks much more kempt, but it's still got kind of a wild vibe to it. The interesting thing about this yard is that except for what we planted in the front, everything in it was already there when we moved in, so we're trying to figure out how to care for it and maybe even make it our own a bit.

Anyway - here's what's new this week:

Black-eyed susans in the front garden, purple hostas fully blossomed in the back... the lavender has actually been blooming all summer, and I want to figure out how to pick it and dry it because it smells so good I need it in my face 24/7. I don't know what those white flowers (bottom right) are called. They look like a cross between a sunflower and a daisy. They're nice. Some of our stuff has been chewed here and there by bugs, but I'd rather have a few shoddy-looking flowers than poison in my yard.

Speaking of poison... I bought two packs of these Off! PowerPad Refils for this bug lantern we got last summer, then I noticed when I went to replace the first one that the packaging says, "ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARDS: This pesticide is highly toxic to fish. Do not apply directly to water. Drift from treated areas may be hazardous to organisms in adjacent aquatic sites." Guess who lives across the street from a creek? Awesome. Mark already complains about our neighbor down the street who is constantly treating his lawn, so, I don't want to be part of the problem. I just burn the candles in it now without the mosquito repellent pad. That feels better.

But back to the creek - I made a spontaneous decision to take Adriana walking IN the creek Sunday morning. I have been very slowly introducing her to the creek bit by bit over the last year, but I figure she's big enough now to understand that she can only go near or in the creek with an adult. Mark was hesitant to get his shoes wet at first (poor girl), but then he got into it. We walked up and around the bend to one of three waterfalls right here on our street. Adriana was pretty butch about the whole thing. Unfortunately we had to pick up a bunch of garbage as we walked - mostly beer cans and food-related items. I'm thinking of spray painting on the man-made retaining wall, "If you leave trash, you are trash," inspired of course by the church we lived next to on 120th street which read:

I might go take some pictures of the creek later. Adriana is at daycare because she would rather be there than any place else in the world. I suppose that's a good thing. The effects of all that learning are certainly taking hold. Last night in the bathtub she was wrapping my shampoo up in her washcloth and carrying it like a sling. She said, "It's a baby. Baby Beluga. And the deep blue sea. Swims around so wild and free." Not only are the songs starting to sink in, but so are all the stories and everything she hears us say. She's been talking to herself as she falls asleep at naptime and bedtime, singing "Hello, how are you" (another daycare jam) and recapping the day for herself. It's pretty wild. I read in Penelope Leach's book "Your Baby & Child" that, "Although young children are still very physical in their reactions to their feelings and to the world, still readily capable of tears and tantrums, they have learned enough language and enough of the thinking that goes with it to be able to join in using words as well.... It is this, more than anything else, that makes the child seem like a "real person.""

Uh, yeah. It's crazy, the things she says. Last night while we were eating outside, I asked Adriana if she had picked anything from the garden at daycare. She said no, cuz there was a hive in the way. I said, "a hive of bees?" She replied, "No, a hive of peas." Ha! Mark and I just looked at each other and smirked. She comes up with stuff like that all the time.

I hope you can escape a world immersed totally in thought, Adriana. Think and feel, sure. But DO. That's the most important thing in life.

Guess that goes for me, too. I'm off then! Bye now!

Forget Me Not

2008-07-22T10:44:00.004-04:00

At the end of the Month of the Young Child (April), Adriana's daycare sent all the kids home with a note that said something like "Remember, children need to be tended," attached to a bag of seeds - aptly - Forget-Me-Nots. (What a cute idea!) So, we planted them, thinking they might not grow, but that it would be a fun exercise nonetheless. Here are some pictures I never posted from that day (May 12):

That binky looks so wack, now, right? Anyhoo, lo and behold, the seeds did in fact start to grow. First they were just little green buds, and we thought, "Okay, but they'll never flower." Guess what? They did that, too! Just this week.

BEFORE: July 10

AFTER: July 20

I remember Gram Castiglia was the first person to tell me what Forget Me Nots were. She grew them in her yard, and I think we may have had some in our yard years ago, too. They were much lower to the ground than these are, and I remember thinking how pretty they were. Even though ours are a little Amazonian, we're all quite pleased that we were able to make something grow from just a seed. The metaphors are pretty obvious, but important, too.

I'll end with a little quote from the musical "The Secret Garden," which has gotten us through many a trip back and forth to New York peacefully. Adriana loves it. It's the only thing she can listen to from start to finish in virtual silence. Here are (most of) the lyrics to the song "Wick," sung by John Cameron Mitchell. It's so strange to hear Hedwig's voice singing children's songs, but that's another post for a different blog, really. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. But if you do, you know what I mean.

When a thing is wick, it has a life about it.

Now, maybe not a life like you and me.

But somewhere there's a single streak of green inside it.

Come, and let me show you what I mean.

When a thing is wick, it has a light around it.

Maybe not a light that you can see.

But hiding down below a spark's asleep inside it,

Waiting for the right time to be seen.

You clear away the dead parts,

So the tender buds can form,

Loosen up the earth and

Let the roots get warm,

Let the roots get warm.

You give a living thing

A little chance to grow,

That's how you will know

If she is wick, she'll grow.

So grow to greet the morning,

Leave the ground below.

When a thing is wick

It has a will to grow and grow.

Come a mild day, come a warm rain,

Come a snowdrop, a-comin' up!

Come a lily, come a lilac!

Come to call, calling all the rest to come!

Calling all the world to come!

Oh, somewhere there's single streak of green below,

And all through the darkest nighttime,

It's waiting for the right time.

When a thing is wick, it will grow!

OH! AND DID I MENTION...

2008-07-17T16:27:00.005-04:00

That Adriana actually pee'd on the potty? Like, for real. On Grandpa's toilet for the first time, no less. Somehow I think he'd be tickled by that. I can just hear his laugh. "Ha-HAAA!," false teeth beaming to the side... "You did it, little one," he'd say.

Ah, shit. I miss my Dad.

His birthday was July 6th. The first year after someone dies is so hard. Every month it's something. First Valentine's Day. Then Easter. Then even if there's nothing, you'll find a reason to tie them to something. Oh, it's April - fishing season. Then Mother's Day. Then Father's Day and my brother Mark's bday. Now the 4th and his birthday. August is our anniversary. And Mikie's bday. September is my mother's birthday and their anniversary. October is Adriana's birthday and Halloween. November is Gabriela's birthday... and my birthday is ON Thanksgiving this year. Then Christmas will roll around... and we'll all start thinking about how "this is the time when Dad got sick." On Maria's birthday. And then we'll get drunk on New Year's and hope we can all start again...

Sorry. But it had to be said. And now that this is private I can do that. So, yeah.

I just wish my Dad was here to see Adriana pee. That's all. Ha.

April, May, June...

2008-07-17T16:14:00.005-04:00

...is what my Dad used to call April, who has been my friend now for 13 years! April came to visit us in Fredonia after the 4th of July weekend and we had a great time. April was an integral part of Adriana's transition to her newfound "big girl" status since she helped me transform the baby's crib into a BIG GIRL BED! As I mentioned previously, Adriana has been staunch about her new big girl lifestyle ever since the Binky Fairy came, so she was really psyched and ready to take the rails off her crib and max it in a real lady bed.

April also had the good idea of moving the crib against the perpindicular wall so that it didn't feel like the same old crib with something missing. As you can see, Adriana took the whole thing quite seriously:

I was glad April could see in person just how much Adriana loves her tea set gift, and of course I can't say the visit didn't have its grown-up pleasures, too, in the form of 4 bottles of wine... and a hike that nearly killed me! Time to lose the baby weight, ya think?

Blackberry Jam

2008-07-16T14:02:00.002-04:00

We'd heard tell that there might be some blackberries in our back yard from our neighbor, and when Mark was mowing the lawn last week, he found the living proof. There are indeed tons of blackberries back there, so we picked them and Mark made some more lovely jam. (I haven't tried any yet, but the strawberry jam was so delicious, I'm sure this will be, too.) I'm not a big jam person, and neither is Mark really, but there's just something nice about being able to make something with your hands. And Adriana certainly loved the picking - okay, eating - part.

Either someone was picking berries or a third world country voted.

Beautiful!

Fireworks

2008-07-15T16:41:00.004-04:00

We had a fantastic time at Grandma's house over the 4th of July holiday weekend. My mother's yard looked absolutely amazing and the pool was a fabulous treat. Though we enjoyed the beautiful bursts of color in the sky, I prefer the ones on the ground:

Perhaps this is the cutest picture you've ever seen?

With this coming in at a close second, of course:

And this a not-so-distant third:

Adriana enjoyed the parade, as did I, since I saw a few people I hadn't seen, well, since the last one. Oh, also, there were McDonald's fries involved. That probably helped.

Other festivities included a trip to Bevs for ice cream where we enjoyed a classic Oswego sunset, dinner at Canale's - the best place in the world for baked ziti, and a visit to Fort Ontario for the fireworks preceeded by the Syracuse Symphony Orchestra. Perfect!

Bloom

2008-07-15T16:07:00.002-04:00

One thing is for certain... it's fun to be around a garden. It's been so nice to watch as the different flowers come and go around the yard. Here's what's alive at our place right now:

This much!

2008-07-15T15:59:00.003-04:00

Adriana and I have started playing a game where I'll ask her, "How much do I love you?," then she stretches her arms out wide and I scoop her up into a voracious hug.

One day, shortly after we started this new ritual, she egged me on by holding her hands only a few inches apart. This, to me, proves her inherent wit and intelligence.

I mean, I guess all kids sort of have that sense of play, but I mean, come on. She knew it was funny from the jump!

What can I say? She comes from good stock.

Comments are back!

2008-07-11T21:45:00.001-04:00

Just for you, Abbi. ;) Thanks for signing up to read!

UPDATE: Okay - they should be back for real now. Let me know if they work!

End of an Era

2008-07-02T11:42:00.007-04:00

Well, I officially have no residence in New York City any longer. I'm in Manhattan right now at my friend Shawn's house, one of a few places I'll be crashing as the next few months go by and I continue my sojourn through life, trying to build a career and a family at the same time. I gotta tell ya, it's nice to sit in someone else's house on someone else's bed using someone else's computer. There's a certain freedom in that. But I'm sure like everything else it will get old. Not knowing where your stuff is. Not having most of your stuff with you. Not really living in the city you've called home for the last 8 years.

I have a lot of good things brewing on the horizon and I know my dance with The Big Apple has not ended. But for now, we'll take a breather and go get some punch.

Here are a few pics we snapped with the cell phone of Adriana enjoying her last days in Weehawken.

My little Tori Amos. God, she's so beautiful, she looks 20 years old.

Acting cheeky at the Chinese place.

Reading glasses.

I'm a Big Girl Now

2008-06-29T11:17:00.010-04:00

That's all Adriana's been saying since she's given up her binkies. She's really enthralled with the idea of being big - she's heady with the power and confidence of it. She sometimes tries to use that to her advantage, of course. "No, I don't have to change my diaper, I'm a big girl now." Yeah, but a big girl's only so big if she still poops her pants. Potty training is the next hurdle to climb on our list of transitional tasks this summer. I told Adriana that if she gave up her binkies and her diapers and started wearing big girl underwear she could get her room re-done in "red and pink" - colors she picked. I have no doubt she can get it done, and frankly I'm looking forward to the remodeling project. One of the things I regret the most about moving as much as we have is that you can never really settle in and decorate, knowing that in a year or two everything has to come off the walls and go back into a box. (We keep our moving boxes now. Is that sad, smart or both?)

Of course when I type "I'm a big girl now" all I hear are the strains of that pull-ups commercial or whatever it is that uses that phrase. (Okay - it's Huggies Pull Ups - I just looked it up. See, that's what sucks about the internet. Remember the days before personal computers were ubiquitous... when you didn't know a piece of trivia, you'd have to ask every friend you came across for a week until somebody finally declared, "It's from that Huggies commercial, duh. Why are you obsessing about diapers?"

Anyway... as a result of her new found resolve (as if she was ever a wilting flower), Adriana is becoming more and more verbal by the minute. This morning I noticed she followed in her father's footsteps by echoing "Oof, da" when she stumbled while she was playing. Mark is the only person I've ever heard use that turn of phrase, and I've always thought it was totally quirky and weird, but I always catch myself spitting it out when I trip up the stairs or drop something... you know, about 30 times a day.

Adriana's playing with her doll on the floor behind me and she's chattering away, mumbling to herself and calling her doll, "Honey." She still has trouble pronouncing words perfectly, but that doesn't stop her from talking her head off, and I love that. Yesterday she was trying to tell me something about sleeping, but she pronounces it sweeping, and given that we had just been sweeping the floor, I thought she was talking about the broom. So she said, "I'm talkin' about sweepin' - laying down." I thought that was so great. That she got frustrated enough to explain something to me in a different way. And of course that she had the wherewithal to do so - to choose alternate words with the same meaning. That just seems so... big.

We're taking it pretty slow today, and Adriana is right here at my side, asking if she can use the computer. So I think I'll close with a note from her:

sjbmk 2iri2rooooo2 2ih vcd c jwv Zwklx Kmfbdsggdudhnx55jn

Remnants

2008-06-25T16:21:00.003-04:00

Being in the country has prompted me to cook a lot more. As you know, we've had some BBQ's and our share of strawberry delights, but I actually made dinner Sunday night. Like, a real meal - the kind my mother makes when the moment calls for it. In fact, I was certainly inspired by her, my friend April and the sale Wal*Mart was having on shrimp when I made linguine pesto with shrimp and Grandma's super-duper salad. I picked up a loaf of focaccia, too - Adriana ate about half of it and nothing else.

It was honestly really great. I couldn't believe what a good job I did! That's happened to me before... occasionally the spirit will move me and I will cook something "from scratch." (Okay, the pesto came out of a jar. Mea cupla.) But I really have to almost channel someone else - really amp up my inner-cooking show diva - in order to make a meal. Otherwise, I just wanna eat out. At Taco Bell. What can I say?

I be on the movie screens, magazines and boogie scenes

I'm not clean, I'm not pristine, I'm no queen, I'm no machine

I still go to Taco Bell, drive through raw as hell

I don't care, I'm still real, no matter how many records I sell

After the show, after the Grammy's I like to go cool out with the family

Thank you, Fergie, for pissing your pants and blowing my mind.

On a similar note: DON'T GET IT TWISTED!

Or, rather, do.

Adriana has been really into braids lately. Like, she wants one in her hair pretty much every night. When I asked her if I could braid her hair, I did it on a whim, but now it's turned into a new part of our routine.

Who doesn't like getting their hair done? The best moments of my life have been when someone else is washing and styling my hair. Adriana gets that treatment every night! We ought to start passing out little yellow envelopes for tips.

Sights and Sounds of Summer

2008-06-25T14:39:00.003-04:00

Tweet! Tweet!
Gurgle gurgle gurgle...
Clomp-clomp-clomp, zhoom, ssssss.
Purrrrrrrrrrr...
Mmm!
Aah.

1. Birds in the trees on all sides of us.
2. The creek across the street.
3. Charcoal being dumped on the grill, lighting it up and watching it burn.
4. Kitty love.
5. Corn on the cob!
6. BEER.

Happy Summer!

Bubbles

2008-06-25T14:36:00.000-04:00

The Binky Fairy

2008-06-25T10:09:00.007-04:00

It all started, like most awesome events in child-rearing do, with an episode of Supernanny. Former Wilson-Phillips member Wendy Wilson invited the Greatest Nanny of All Time (suck it, Mary Poppins) into her home to help with her 4 kids. Her middle child, age 3, was still using a pacifier to soothe himself to sleep, and Supernanny thought that was un-ass-ceptable! So she came up with a brilliant plan to mail his "paci" to the Paci Fairy.

Now, I've heard of mailing binkies to little babies who need them. I've heard of giving binkies to little babies who need them directly. I've heard of throwing them off the Brooklyn Bridge, stuffing them inside a Build-a-Bear and letting kids give them up on their own, which will supposedly happen when the other 14-year-olds start making fun of your kid. (Ha-ha, thumb suckers! Good luck making fun of my kid through your mouth full of BRACES!) But anyway...

Needless to say I was all about the Paci Fairy plan, because it involved markers, glitter and feathers, three of my favorite things. (I'm sensing a heavy Julie Andrews influence today.) According to the episode, Wendy's kid gave up his paci without a fight, slept soundly that night and gleefully received his package from the Paci Fairy in the morning. The whole thing was practically perfect in every way. How could I resist?

Saturday morning I asked Adriana if she wanted to mail her binkies to the Binky Fairy. Without even knowing the parameters of the exchange, she said yes. (Of course she said yes. She says yes to anything. But she doesn't always mean it. A typical convo in our house these days sounds like: "Adriana, do you want to take a bath?" "Yes." "Okay, let's go." "No. I don't want to take a bath." "Too bad." "Okay. Let's take a bath.") If only Daddies were so easily persuaded...

We got out the crayons and markers and I asked Adriana to draw a picture for the Binky Fairy while I addressed the envelope. (Interestingly enough, the Binky Fairy and Grandma have the same address. In "Goswego," as Adriana calls it.) I wrote a little note on Adriana's drawing, something to the effect of, "Hey shiny lady - send me a toy." Adriana threw her chewed up binkies in the package, we sealed it and headed off to the Post Office. A dollar and change later, I thought, "Okay, this is it." The postal workers seemed tickled by the whole affair, and we left wondering how it would all play out.

Later that afternoon Adriana and I went shopping, and much like my mother did at Christmastime when I was a child, I bought her toy rewards right under her nose. I dragged her into the toy section of Wal*Mart (which I have sworn off, but honestly where else can you buy toys? They're the only store that sells them in this town) and told her we were looking for a present for Gabriela. (Sorry, Gab.) I picked out a Thomas and Friends book and train car and scooted to the checkout. As the cashier was running everything over the scanner I proudly spelled, "The T-O-Y-S are a S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E, so try to keep them S-E-C-R-E-T, O-K?" Probably the most ineffective attempt at communication ever made, but, it worked out. (Next time I should bring boulders and line them up on the beach so he can fly overhead while I wave my arms madly and shout, "FIRE! FIRE!")

When we got home, I hid the stuff in the closet and waited. All evening Adriana chattered about the present she would receive in the morning. "First we gonna have dinner, then we gonna go to bed, then when we wake up there's gonna be a present!" I like how she really lays out an agenda for herself. I think that's one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Toddlers.

Lo and behold, first thing in the morning, there was in fact a present waiting on the porch for Adriana. Just like Supernanny, I added the finishing touch of "fairy dust," using star-shaped confetti. That was what really sold it. That, and a bird feather that just so happened to have landed on the lawn. I couldn't have planned that better myself. (Obviously, since I didn't.) I should have known, though... Supernanny used feathers as a part of her fairy dust. Who knows? Maybe Jo-Jo came by to hook us up! After all, she is magical.

Lady is a swanky battery-operated engine made of purple metal. She runs perfectly on the track of the Imaginarium* train set that Grandpa got Adriana for Christmas, but she's already chugged her way all over the house. The cats are quite fascinated by her. I think we all are. Playing with trains is much more fun when they move along by themselves. It's not that I mind exerting the effort, but when you have to push the train you can't really see it go, you know what I'm sayin'? Lady just glides gracefully across the floor. It's like a real-live Thomas episode. (Carlin did voice-over work for that show, too. Did ya know? I'd certainly rather listen to Carlin narrate it than Baldwin. No offense, Alec, but Carlin sounds like a Grandpa and you sound like a pedophile. Too many SNL Boy Scout sketches, I guess.)

*I was a little disappointed to notice that the Toys R Us website divides toys up into gender categories. Duh, it's 2008. Boys can play with dolls and girls can play with trucks. Do you know how many stay-at-home Dads there are nowadays? Sheesh! Parents aren't hung up about this stuff anymore. The hot trend on the playground is that boys love to play with strollers, remember?

But back to the matter at hand! The entire Binky Fairy/train-playing moment was over and done with by 10 am, so we decided to go to church. We don't go very often, but Adriana likes the music, and I like to cry in public, so it works. The mass was a little too touchy-feely for me, given that I grew up in a pretty old-school Irish/Italian church where everyone was serious and sang quietly off-key. This church was all about the rockin' band for Jesus and spreading the Good News. Where I come from, the Good News was that there would be coffee and donuts after mass, but hey - to each his own. After the body and blood, we had some time before Adriana's nap, so we drew on the sidewalk with chalk and watched the flowers grow. All in all it was a lovely day. And Adriana slept well that night.

Worn Out

2008-06-23T16:25:00.006-04:00

I never felt as energized as I did when I was pregnant. Now I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. I've been thinking about that recently, about how having a kid (among other things) has made me feel so much older. Wiser, too, maybe, but older for sure. I stumbled upon Penelope Trunk's blog yesterday (via BlogHer) and she hit me like a ton of bricks with all kinds of quotes and truisms about being a woman with a career and kids. I can't say I was exactly encouraged. She, like me, really loves working. In my case working means performing, but just because it's called a play doesn't mean it's not hard work. After all, stand-ups work on their feet, too, you know. This is the quote that really killed me. It's from a 2007 interview with Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Citigroup's Global Wealth Management (that Penelope did not conduct).

Why aren’t women at the top of companies?
There is something about women getting tired. They get to be thirty and they get tired. Add up all the time that you are not with the kids and not working but you are doing hair and makeup while your husband sleeps. It’s two-and-a-half hours a week. It drags you down. Also, women are not able to express anger at work because it reflects negatively on women. This makes women tired, too.

Women are not allowed to talk about how hard it is to be a woman. Boom. Point blank. So, there's that. Then, to quote Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles, there's the other half of it: "I'm not a rabbit! I need some rest."

And yet, I don't want to rest, really. That's the interesting part. I'm tired, and I want to be with Adriana, but I want to work, too. What's the secret, Reese? Ah, but that's just Mommy Porn, like Penelope said. Here's a quote about that from this post:

Here’s another example of mommy porn: Angelina Jolie, and her fifty kids. She has a rule that the nannies (plural, yes, each kid has their own) cannot be photographed holding the kids, because it’s bad for Angelina’s image as a mom. But this is the problem: It looks like these very successful women have it all, even though they don’t.

Now, who's to say if the nanny bit is true or not. Certainly not me. What I have observed about Angelina is that despite the fact that she has four children (and 2 on the way), she is usually photographed with one, no more than two of them at a time. (I have seen a few exceptions where Angelina balances a child on every available appendage, including Brad's head.) All this is to say, being an extremely hands-on parent and a career-driven woman - without an enormous childcare budget - is a very difficult task. I've seen people do it, and I think the ones who do it really well are not only creative, but fiercely unafraid. Unafraid of what other people will think, unafraid of the consequences, unafraid to fail.

I have been a less than full-time parent over the last few months, and now that I'm with Adriana every day again, I can see the difference between being a dedicated parent and just making sure your kid is clothed and fed. Sure, your kid will be fine no matter what - but will they know you? Will you have a real relationship? Think about it conversely: would your career flourish if you were only partially dedicated to it? Why do we have to choose?

That's the question. The answer is, because we live in a capitalist society filled with 24/7 news coverage and social media and the world is go-go-go until you stop-stop-stop, so if you don't make stuff happen, if you don't create your brand and shove it down people's throats, no one will even know you're there.

George Carlin died yesterday. And so when I was writing about him this morning, I took my copy of "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" off the shelf and I noticed the inscription:

This book is dedicated to my amazing daughter, Kelly: keeper of the sacred DNA, citizen of the universe, and one of America's few really good Buddhist poker players.

So there. What does having kids get ya? A really good dedication for your book. And what does an entertainment career get you? A book deal, so you have a prominent place to brag about your kid. It can't be either or.

New Header!

2008-06-23T16:02:00.004-04:00

Fotoflexer.com is like an online photoshop! Go there now! Hope you like the new header! Here's the old one - I'll make an archive as they change.

And here's a fun header I used to use on my comedy blog:

Yes, Mom - I know you hate it.

How to Make Strawberry Shortcake

2008-06-20T13:58:00.005-04:00

First, get yourself some strawberries. These should ideally be freshly picked out of a home garden, but frozen or store-bought is fine, too. I used California berries from the grocery store for this batch and it was delicious all the same.

Chop up the berries into bite-sized pieces. My mom used to mash the berries into a soupy consistency, adding lots of sugar, which is sort of a must if you're using frozen berries. Since I had fresh berries, I didn't want to mash them, so I decided to use this yummy Ontario Orchards-brewed Strawberry Syrup we had left over from one of the care packages we got when my Dad died. Fitting, I think, since my father LOVED Strawberry Shortcake and going to the Orchards. This is basically the recipe his mother (referred to affectionately as Gram by everyone who knew her) taught my mother, and so on down the line. (I'm sure my mother is shitting herself right now reading this since I never, ever cook.) I boil water and make glass explode, remember?

Don't use store-bought ready-made sponge cake. Yuck! Bake yourself up some biscuits instead, using Bisquick or any mix or make them completely from scratch if you are so inclined. These took about 20 minutes to rise in the oven and were fab. First time I ever baked anything besides Toll House cookies or Taco Dip. And I used my grandmother's beater to mix the dough. So much nostalgia!

All you have left to do is assemble: first, I dumped a layer of syrup in the bottom of a bowl and laid the biscuit on top.

Then I topped that with the berries, "a teeny-tiny little bit, not too much" (as Adriana used to say) more syrup and then a few good swirls of whipped cream. My Mom's parents used to always use Cool Whip, but I think Reddi-Whip is better, because it's not as sweet and it's made with real cream. If you're really handy like my friend April, you can milk your own cow and whip the cream up yourself. I'm just happy I heated the biscuits.

All that's left to do is enjoy!

For you photo geeks - I rounded the corners of this picture in Flickr using Picnik mode. That's also how I created that "Father's Day BBQ" photo in the post below. If you upload your picture to Flickr, just click "Edit Photo" on the Flickr photo page and have fun! It's like old-timey scrapbooking! You know, from the early 2000's?

Father's Day Weekend

2008-06-17T11:57:00.008-04:00

We had a fabulous visit from my Aunt Kathy, niece Gabriela and my Mom, aka Grandma this weekend in honor of Father's Day. I wanted to start the estrogen-fest off right, so, Saturday morning, shortly after everyone arrived, I passed out temporary tattoos. I was pleasantly surprised that even the women-of-a-certain-age participated. My Mom looks so hot with an ankle tattoo I'm convinced she should get a real one! My Aunt Kathy already has a navel-piercing, so, no push there. After all, she is a teacher. When you retire, Aunt Kath, we'll go get nose rings. (One of us for the second time. I can't help it - I have allergies. Imagine trying to blow your nose and ending up with a tissue full of cubic zirconia!)

I love Adriana's face in the group photo, like, "Oh my God, look at all these GIRLS! And they're related to me! Wahoo! This is fun! Somebody crack open some wine coolers and let's go shopping!"

As you can imagine, Adriana did not want to nap and miss a moment with our visitors. ("They're not visitors, they're Grandmas!" That's what I was told Friday evening as we prepared for their arrival.) She did sleep for about a half an hour tho, just long enough for my mother, Aunt Kathy and I to go to the local greenhouse and buy some annuals and hanging baskets for the front garden.

I have a brown thumb, which is why I'm the one taking the pictures. I did manage to buy those beautiful ceramic vases on sale 3 for $8.60 in the East Village, tho. See? Everyone has their role...

Gabriela had the best seat in the house to watch all the action. Okay, "action."

The orange bloom and the rose-esque flower are growing wildly in the backyard. Thank God for things that just happen on their own, huh? I mean, someone must have planted them a long time ago. We just showed up.

When we finished in the garden, Mark had the bright idea to drive a few miles down the road to Lily Dale, the nation's largest Spiritualist community. I had some pictures from our trip there this winter, but I don't think I posted about it and now I can't find the pictures. No worries! It's even more beautiful in full sunlight. The big feature, I think, is their Fairy Trail. You can see some of the little fairy houses in the pics below:

If you look carefully at the picture in the top right corner, you'll notice a beautiful yellow butterfly. Several of them were flying around this huge house that belonged to a Medium, and as we walked by the very large chimes on her porch began to ring. We took this as a sign, so right before we left, my Aunt Kathy knocked at the door and asked how much for a reading. She balked at the $65 reply, feeling the butterflies had led her astray, so we headed back home.

As we drove into town, my mother decided we should go have dinner at Denny's. (Hey - don't knock it til you've tried it!) Lo and behold, what did we see in the parking lot but a shiny, black car with a huge, yellow butterfly emblazoned on the hood! The butterflies did not lead us astray - no! They led us to Buffalo Chicken Finger Subs! Mmm...

Sunday we had a nice BBQ before the fam took off. Mark was of course the grillmaster, showing off his manly skills on Father's Day. The ladies approved.

Our neighbors came over for a quick hello, too - that's our baby nabe Cece there with Adriana, showing off their tats. I took the cigarettes out of their hands before I snapped this, just so they'd look more classier.

The girls left after lunch and Adriana took a nice, long nap. That evening, we went to the beach to play in the sand.

Notice anything different? Daddy shaved his beard off!

Mark was toying with the idea and I said, "Go for it! You can always grow it back!" I haven't seen Mark without facial hair in years. I just checked our wedding album to see if he had facial hair then - he didn't. It was a bit of a shock looking at those photos - I didn't have any facial hair then, either. Also, who's that skinny girl in the white dress and why is she wearing a tiara? That was my day, bitch! Ugh. I'd show you the pictures to try to get an ID on her, but they aren't digital. (Did I mention our ceremony was officiated by a Pterodactyl?) Nice lady - bit of a screechy voice, tho. (Please don't ptell her I said pthat.)

***

Of course, no Father's Day post would be complete without mentioning my own father. I'm sure you're aware if you're reading this that my father passed away in January. He is of course sorely missed by all of us, even Adriana, who constantly asks about him and talks about him. "Grandpa died. He's in heaven. He's sleepin' on the clouds," are all common phrases of hers. I think the older you get, the less you know, so I can't really explain where he's gone, but I do know there are ways deceased loved ones seem to show themselves every once in a while. Case in point...

When we walked in to Denny's Saturday night, I split from the crew to powder my nose. As I strolled back to our table, I saw at least three heads of hair just like my Dad's: formerly thick but now thinning, short, salt-and-pepper hair with curls - the kind only guys who work outside for a living have. It struck me, as if I was in the Twilight Zone or something. Finally my eyes settled on one of the guys, and I smiled and thought that he looked comfortingly like my father. When I sat down, my Aunt Kathy said, "Carolyn, walk over that way and see if you recognize anyone." I said, "Oh, you mean the guy that looks like my father. Yeah, I saw him." She and Mark just looked at each other in agreement and amazement.

I thought the yellow butterflies were leading us to a Medium so she could tell me about my Dad, but I should have known better. Of course he'd rather meet us for dinner!

Summer Nights

2008-06-10T22:39:00.005-04:00

I miss the 70's. Well, I guess I miss the notion of the 70's, really, since I was born in '76 and had just turned 3 when the decade ended. Despite my young age, I have all these great memories of what the late 70's/early 80's were like. I remember that kids could go to the ice-cream stand after dinner wearing their pajamas. Babies got pushed around in umbrella strollers without wearing shoes or socks. People were just generally more chill. And with this heat wave and gas prices being so high, I guess this summer seems like a throwback to me, so I let Adriana wear her pajamas outside the other day. After dinner, before bed, why not? We colored on the sidewalk and watched the sun set over the creek. It was... chill.

So, here's to people being more chill... and by people, I really mean me.

Tiny Dancer

2008-06-10T21:58:00.003-04:00

After my Dad died, I took my old jewelry box out of his room - the room that used to be mine as a teen - and gave it to Adriana as a gift. She loves it, of course. There's something about a wooden box covered in pink satin... it's a place for little girls to keep their secrets, a space for their dreams. Adriana has filled hers with plastic baby baubles, lip gloss, cat hair and tickets. She loooooves tickets. "This is a ticket from the Opera House where we saw Curious George and Pider Web." (Pider Web means Charlotte's Web, for those of you that don't speak Adriana and therefore need a translation.)

The other night, Adriana and I sat on her floor for about half-an-hour going through her jewelry box. She took out each necklace and bracelet and tried them on. She opened her teeny-tiny container of shiny pink lip gloss and rubbed it all over my face; it was so sweet. I sort of wanted to laugh, knowing that none of the gloss had actually hit my lips, but that instead my moustache hairs must have looked sparkly and beautiful. But I didn't so much as giggle; I just let her work her magic. I put some gloss on her, too, and in that timeless exchange of mother-daughter primping I felt completely as one.

Before we closed the box and headed off to the table for dinner, the ballerina on the ledge of the box caught her eye. She said, "Is that you as a little girl?" I said, "Yeah. Sort of. It is."

Hand Me Downs

2008-06-10T21:32:00.004-04:00

Mark and I spent a good portion of last week cleaning up our house, and as part of that we gathered up all the clothes Adriana has grown out of in the 24-month/2T range. We stopped to sniff and snuggle each piece as we took them out of her little dresser and put them in a bag. When I handed the clothes to my friend Clea, whose baby daughter Senavene is the recipient of the goods, I told her that we'd fondled them all. She said she'd be sure to wash the snot off before they were re-worn. Clea's a comic, too. Case in point: when she found out I was on Miss Rap Supreme, she sent me the following graphic of her debut album cover:

Gangsta.

Here's a picture of her little cutie that I took while I was visiting. Thanks for the hang and the snuggles, kids!

Look at that head! Is that a perfect head, or what? Eat your heart out, Sinead!

Funfest!

2008-06-02T11:02:00.006-04:00

We were supposed to meet our buds Raven (or Raisin, as Adriana calls her) and Marlena yesterday, but due to some poor timing on our part (running behind? us? never!) we ended up at the park in Hoboken instead. In the last year we've spent a lot of nice days at that park, and I can't think of a better way to wrap up Adriana's visits to the city than the way we did Sunday at Our Lady of Grace Church's Funfest. We had no idea it was happening when we set out, so you can imagine it was a delight seeing the park all covered in balloons and filled with even more kids than usual. Here's a Stained Glass Collage I made of all the goings-on:

Click to see it larger.

Stained Glass Collage is such a wonderful tool to really capture an event in one fell swoop. Try it if you haven't! I think it's even easier to use if you already keep your photos on Flickr. I bet these would look great in print, too. (They recommend you choose the 8x10 setting for later printing. I made this one in that resolution and I'm always surprised at the high-quality of the end result.)

So, yeah - as I mentioned previously, I quit my job (at a fancy cable company that shall remain nameless) and as such, I don't need to be in the city M-F 9 to 5 anymore. That means Mark and Adriana won't be coming down as much (and probably not at all for a while). Just like last fall, I will be based upstate and come down to the city, though less frequently. I plan to be in New York once or twice a month for 5 or so days at a time. The rest of my time will be spent upstate writing a book (for real!) and doing some road work. "Road work" is comedic lingo for gigs on the road, the road being anywhere besides New York. It usually entails playing places like "Wacky's!" or "Drunkards Poor House," but I like people... and beer bottles to the head.

I'm excited to spend a steadier amount of time as a family, but I can't say we've found an ideal situation yet. I think since the death of my father, though, I feel more equipped than ever to make the best of each day because I realize time is of the essence. Certainly quality trumps quantity when talking about time with your kids, but hey - a little quantity never hurt anybody, either.